Monday Night Football: New Orleans vs Atlanta

There are meaningful late-season battles, and there are knock-down, drag-out, egg-tossing rivalries like the one we're about to encounter tonight. Few have ventured into the Dirty South and lived through the miracle of quadruple-bypass to tell about it. Tonight, we'll count ourselves among those lucky victims as we gorge ourselves on these two southeast juggernauts who call the NFC West home. They've both yet to run out of steam, and now their perseverance finds them tied atop that division. Let's go see who survives the night, and who succumbs to their eyes thinking their stomach could fit one more cornbread biscuit.

Quarter One
First-rounder Tony Smith continues to confound with another solid return to the Atlanta 37-yard line. Chris Miller comes out looking to throw, but with the Dome Patrol tied up at the line he decides to take his chances on the run. Fulfilling the prophecy laid out by his fortune cookie at the Chinese buffet lunch, Miller makes today count with a long and winding run to the New Orleans' 4-yard line. He caps it off on the next play with a bootleg run that sees him crashing into the right side of his line in full taunting mode before swiveling around to score.

Atlanta leads 7-0

Return specialist for the Saints, Dalton Hilliard, catapults his way out of the end zone to just the 6-yard line. Bobby Hebert takes the snap and drops back into his end zone, wishing he'd have washed the catnip off his jersey when the hungry Moe Gardner lunges at him for a safety.

Atlanta leads 9-0

The enigmatic Smith takes a shortened Morten kick near midfield, setting up a drive that begins with Miller completing his first pass to tight end Harper Lebel who plods his way for a deep gain to the Saints' 14-yard line. Steve Broussard appears healthy enough to take his first of many 2-yard gains on the day. Going back to pass, Miller lofts it towards the end zone but sees his pass batted away. Broussard gets another rep in, picking up an important first down to extend the drive one more play that gives Broussard his sixth full rushing touchdown for the season.

Atlanta leads 16-0

Hilliard gets a marginally better return to his team's 41-yard line for the Saints' second drive. Hebert drops back with a little more breathing room and a lot more time to scan the field, though he eventually gives up a mouthful to Ken Tippins for Atlanta's second sack in as many Saints' offensive plays. Hebert finally gets the opportunity to lob up a pass, a flea flicker to Quinn Early, though it's lost in a flurry of Reebok gloves. On 3rd and 18, Hebert's second flea flicker in a row fools nobody but Eric Martin, who turns around in time to see the ball careen off his facemask. Tommy Barnhardt racks up the best New Orleans' offensive play thus far with a long punt that pins Tony Martin at the Falcons' 15-yard line.

Quarter Two
After a productive first quarter, Atlanta gets right back to work with a quick 19-yard pass from Miller to Mike Pritchard. Two plays later, Miller hits the rising Andre Rison near the Saints' 40-yard line to convert a new set of downs. The fresh Broussard picks up some positive yardage up the middle, and two plays later he's taking a pitch 14 yards to get inside the 30. When Broussard finds himself with a faceful of Bill Fralic butt on two plays in a row, Miller is forced to go back to the air. The long drive is capped with a pick by Sam Mills when Miller's vision is screened once again by the sumptuous curves of Fralic.

 Vaughn Dunbar takes his chances and rolls a 1 on New Orleans' first play of the drive. Craig Heyward only nets 5 more, though he's able to pick up 7 to give the Saints a first down for the first time in the game. Hebert's famous flea flicker is pulled in by Martin near the sidelines, and he carries it down to the Atlanta 25-yard line to finally threaten the dirty birds with time winding down. With 35 seconds left, Hebert's pass is harmlessly swatted away, leading Morten Andersen to come out and swing his Great Dane leg at the ball for a 45-yard field goal to put New Orleans on the board at the half.

Atlanta leads 16-3

Halftime - Saints 16, Falcons 3

Quarter Three
Hilliard's comeback campaign rolls along with the native Louisianian barreling his way past midfield to the Saints' 43-yard line. Hebert's first pass is too hot for Heyward to handle, yet Neon Deion has no issues with his next pass when he wraps his fingers around just his first interception of the year.

After another promising showing from Broussard on first down with a 9-yard run, Miller sears a pass through the air to his new favorite target, the journeyman Harper LeBel. LeBel continues to put on his yards-after-catch clinic with a Saints-repellant run to the New Orleans' 35-yard line. Miller tries to change things up with a pass to Pritchard, but finds himself licking his wounds after his second interception of the day to Sam Mills at the goal line.

From the shotgun formation, Hebert throws the ball as if it were a clump of wet laundry towards Heyward, who can't handle it. Early saves his quarterback on second down with a leaping grab that he takes to the Atlanta 47-yard line, but can't manage to repeat the feat on the next play. When Dunbar fails to turn around for the catch on second down and then falls down in front of a gaping hole on third, the Saints find themselves marching Barnhardt back out for a long punt that lands in the lap of a busker's monkey.

Miller has surprise written on his face when LeBel can't handle his pass on first down. Broussard and Miller pick up some yards on the ground as the third quarter threatens to close without any scoring. Miller lofts one in the air to Rison who picks up another long gain of 29 yards, though he's brought down near the 35 as the field prepares to flip.

Quarter Four
Miller continues the fancy footwork by daring the Dome Patrol with a long 17-yard gain to get inside the red zone. The next three plays put the Falcons' offensive weak spots under a microscope, though it's Norm Johnson's noodle leg that keeps Atlanta from extending their lead with a miss from just 32 yards away.

The Saints go the unorthodox route with a Dunbar run on first down and down by 13 in the 4th quarter. His pickup of 8 yards is admirable, if not defeatist, though Hebert washes away the questioning with a Hail Mary tossup to Martin that's just off the receiver's fingertips. Heyward picks up the first down on the next play, but his next four runs in a row have fans of Hebert wondering if the Ragin' Cajun has finally hit the Lamella-framed dome roof as time nears triple zeroes in the fourth. With just over a minute remaining, Hebert finally gets enough air under the ball to first complete a pass to Heyward for a first down, followed by a flea flicker to a diving Early in the end zone for the Saints' first, yet quite belated, touchdown of the game.

Atlanta leads 16-10

There remains enough hope for New Orleans in the eternal springs when Eric Martin covers the bumbling onside kick by Mortensen at the Atlanta 45-yard line with just 40 seconds remaining. Moe Gardner adds another 10-yard sack of Hebert on first down, adding another peak to the Everest that lies between the Saints and the end zone. The next play becomes one of the most bizarre this season, beginning when Hebert's pass goes in Early's direction. Perhaps seeing the clock loudly tick down to zero, Early sucks the ball in and then immediately spits it back out on to the Mardi Grass. With the game in the balance, the very last person the Saints want to see pick up the ball outside of a gray jersey does so, and Vaughn Dunbar races at a snail's pace towards the end zone before crossing his ankles at the 9-yard line to keep the Saints an entire Moe Gardner sack away from tying this once-runaway game up.

Final: Falcons 16, Saints 10

The Falcons never scored after the first quarter, while the Saints didn't get their first touchdown until just a minute left in the fourth. It was an odd game between two teams that had been expected to put on a fireworks show on Monday Night, yet looked like a bottom-barrel headbutt-fest of two teams far too inept for the crownings they've been getting all season. Though Miller wasn't the most efficient, his feet kept his team in the lead the entire time, a promising sign for the Falcons in their postseason endeavors. For the Saints, however, the team ranked at or near Number One all season had a quarterback complete about one in four passes, if he even threw that many, with about as many yards thrown in the game as he'd usually complete in his first drive of the first 13 games this season. For our eyes and brains we hope to see any postseason rematches contain a little more heart, but for now the Falcons move into first place as the only team with double-digit wins. Meanwhile, New Orleans' Coach Jim Mora may be hitting double digit bourbon shots before the clock moves into Tuesday.