The wrapping paper is off and the plates are sitting by the sink, caked in gravy and ham grease. You're sitting there, fireplace dying out, clothed in your new bathrobe and playing with your new Poetry Processor, the sounds of the football game fizzling behind you. It's Week Sixteen in the 1992 Tecmo Season, and either you're over the whole concept of football or you're just finally feeling the drool build up in the corners of your mouth. It's the week when playoff prognoses turn into realities and most teams are forced to carry their suitcases into their locker rooms. With eyes trained to look toward the New Year, the last week in December usually gets a bum rap. It's time we spice things up around here with our penultimate pronouncements of some passionate pigskin play!
1:00 Games
Green Bay (4-10) * L.A. Rams (7-7)
Playoff Implications: Rams eliminated with a loss
Los Angeles staves off the unavoidable for now with a passable win over the disappointing Packers. With the opportunity to spoil more than just the locker room egg nog, Green Bay cashed it in early with Favre unable to hit 100 yards passing against throwing 2 interceptions and Vince Workman leading the team in rushing with 46 yards on 7 attempts. Jim Everett put up 234 yards on his own, and the flashing bulbs reading "what could have been" over his head are never more noticeable.
Final Score: Rams 19, Packers 7
Houston (10-4) * Cleveland (7-7)
Playoff Implications: Oilers claim division with win
On the verge of falling short in an otherwise surprising season, the Browns not only pulled out an upset but solidly beat a Houston team with its sights set on a second consecutive division crown. Mike Tomczak reminded Warren Moon how a hungry quarterback plays with an uncharacteristic 278 passing yards (125 to Michael Jackson) and a 78% completion rating. With the win, Cleveland not only stays alive in the wild card but takes control of their destiny with a week remaining.
Final Score: Browns 28, Oilers 14
Dallas (9-5) * Atlanta (11-3)
Playoff Implications: Falcons clinch playoff berth with win
The Falcons slip up at perhaps the worst possible time in a division that was never a cake walk, falling to the red-hot Cowboys when a win could have put them in a possible division-clinching scenario. Chris Miller played less-than-inspired with just 140 yards and 3 picks, and though Troy Aikman wasn't much more exciting with 187 passing yards, his 0 interceptions and 90% completion rating have him in good shape for a deep playoff run. They put some distance between themselves and the wild card while also keeping the heat on Philadelphia.
Final Score: Cowboys 31, Falcons 10
San Diego (10-4) * L.A. Raiders (6-8)
Playoff Implications: Raiders eliminated with a loss
The Raiders are the second California team to avoid a playoff beheading with a season sweep of the now-reigning division champion San Diego Chargers. All Jay Schroeder had to do was sit back and let Stan Humphries show off his vulnerabilities, throwing just 104 yards with 3 interceptions. The Raiders win more convincingly this time around, keeping their heels entrenched in the mud. And though the Chargers were the first team in the postseason, they're now convincing most that they'll be the first out of it as well.
Final Score: Raiders 24, Chargers 7
Cincinnati (6-8) * New England (4-10)
Playoff Implications: Bengals eliminated with a loss
Cincinnati is the first team mercifully relieved of their duties after allowing the Patriots to score a late touchdown. Though New England has been nothing short of miserable, their glowing beacon in the night continues to be Kevin Turner, who put up not only another 100+ yard rushing game, but also caught 132 yards out of the backfield on just 3 receptions. His performance is enough to spoil a second showing in two years for the Bengals, giving Boomer a chance to bow of the season out as ungraciously as he entered it.
Final Score: Patriots 24, Bengals 21
Miami (10-3-1) * N.Y. Jets (7-6-1)
Playoff Implications: Dolphins claim division with win
Jets eliminate Raiders with win
In a divisional playoff that should have been, the Dolphins win the season series by actually defeating their divisional foe. The Jets beat Miami on the ground and, surprisingly, through the air, with Browning Nagle out-throwing Dan Marino 218 yards to 133, though it was obvious that Miami was comfortable with sitting back and letting the Jets self-destruct as they have all season. The Dolphins are the second team to swim into the playoffs, while the Raiders are able to hold their breath for another long week with New York losing.
Final Score: Dolphins 20, Jets 17
San Francisco (9-5) * Tampa Bay (6-8)
Playoff Implications: 49ers eliminated from NFC West with loss
In what will go down as perhaps the most befuddling chapter of the 49ers already puzzling season, the Buccaneers lay waste to a San Francisco team already wasted by a late-season slump that spelled their ultimate demise. Steve Young couldn't keep up with his old team, getting out-thrown by Vinny Testaverde 272 yards to 228, and though Tampa Bay was eliminated a week ago they still surprisingly play with enough heart to spoil the party for a team that nearly had their postseason spot etched in stone just a few weeks ago.
Final Score: Buccaneers 27, 49ers 24
Buffalo (9-5) * New Orleans (10-4)
Playoff Implications: Saints clinch playoff berth with win
Though the playoffs were more than an afterthought in Saints' fans minds halfway through the season, they now find the road a little tougher after falling victim to the hottest team in the NFL. The Buffalo Bills already claimed their second postseason trip with the Jets losing to Miami, yet handling a tough team in New Orleans was just as important to prove their mettle. Thurman Thomas is firmly entrenched in MVP talks with another stellar game of 111 yards on 14 attempts before injury, though with the berth the Bills hope to have their lame horse rested come playoff time.
Final Score: Bills 23, Saints 14
Minnesota (9-5) * Pittsburgh (8-6)
Playoff Implications: Steelers eliminated, Oilers clinch AFC Central with loss
The Vikings keep themselves alive with a needed win over the Steelers, while doing double duty by booting their opponents out of an improbable division race and allowing Houston to claim another backdoor title. Pittsburgh is dangerously close to letting their schizophrenic season be their undoing, with Barry Foster's 90 yards on 9 attempts not good enough to cover Neil O'Donnell's neck-straining performance of just 22 passing yards. The Steelers need help into the playoffs, but once there it may be a matter of who's willing to take "The Beard" out to pasture anyway.
Final Score: Vikings 24, Steelers 14
4:00 Games
Denver (5-9) * Seattle (4-10)
Playoff Implications: None
John Elway had a quietly consistent game in what was set to be a snoozer in the AFC West, throwing 235 yards with 91% of his passes reaching his receivers. Stan Gelbaugh was also efficient enough, keeping the ball out of the hands of his opponents. Though the book of both teams' seasons were written and closed early on, it's still possible for them to put on a performance like this that gives us hope for seasons to come. It's also possible that playing in an empty, silent arena helps the level of play as well.
Final Score: Broncos 28, Seahawks 24
N.Y. Giants (5-9) * Kansas City (3-11)
Playoff Implications: None
While there's one story going on with teams in the playoff hunt, there's another one going on somewhere near the bottom of the barrel between teams hustling to not be the worst when the dust is settled. Kansas City gets just their fourth win in 16 tries by playing against one of those rare quarterbacks that is actually worse than Dave Krieg in a Kansas City uniform. The game was won by Kansas City through the air, with Krieg finding the unlikely Barry Word for 101 yards, a number Hostetler only has wet dreams about.
Final Score: Chiefs 28, Giants 21
Detroit (4-10) * Chicago (9-5)
Playoff Implications: Bears eliminate Rams with win
Chicago keeps the wild card annoyingly and excitingly convoluted and crowded with a slim win over their divisional brothers in Detroit. Brad Muster and Barry Sanders ran an identical 14 times, though Muster won the ground game by 3 yards. The air battle was lackluster and somewhat depressing for a late-season battle with playoff meddling on the line for the Lions, reminding us how relieved we are to not see Detroit in a postseason chair and how nervous we are to see Jim Harbaugh harpooning the backs of receivers in a wild card contest.
Final Score: Bears 17, Lions 14
Indianapolis (4-10) * Phoenix (2-12)
Playoff Implications: Cardinals eliminate Colts from the Jimmy V Celebrity Golf
Classic with win
Chris Chandler plays for his career with the number one draft pick on the line, throwing 320 yards with 78% of his passes completed and the Cardinals have a third win under their belts. Ricky Proehl remained invisible all day, racking up 226 yards on 8 catches to keep Phoenix distanced from the Colts, who still haven't recovered from the 10-consecutive loss streak that will define their illustriously unsettling season. Somewhere, the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers are uncorking another bottle of champagne.
Final Score: Cardinals 30, Colts 17
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Monday Night Football
Philadelphia (10-4) * Washington (8-6)
Playoff Implications: Eagles clinch playoff berth with win
Redskins eliminated with loss
While most of you were nestling snugly in your beds, candy canes in your grubby clutches and all, there was a football game going on between Philadelphia and Washington. The last Monday Night contest was a fitting one, with more than just lost love on the line between the two divisional foes. A season removed from their Tecmo Bowl run, the Redskins found themselves in a do-or-die situation with Chicago and Dallas winning the day previous, while the Eagles had a chance at redemption by eliminating their pesky siblings a season after Washington came from behind to send Philadelphia packing in Week 17.
The first quarter was all about momentum, or, more appropriately, the lack thereof. Just as Philadelphia flirted with scoring, Herschel Walker dropped the first of what would be many fumbles throughout the day, allowing the Redskins the chance to turn the game around quickly. Unfortunately for them, they ran into one of the better defenses in the NFC and were forced to punt the ball back to the dangerous Randall Cunningham-led offense. Of course, as dangerous as Cunningham is to other teams, he is to his own when he threw a pick on his first pass. Mark Rypien plays hot potato with the ball, giving it back on his first play and allowing the Eagles a chance at redeeming themselves in Washington territory.
End of 1st Quarter - Eagles 0, Redskins 0
The second quarter quickly began by imitating the first, with Walker bobbling over his second fumble in the red zone. Washington once again went nowhere on their next drive, punting it back to Philadelphia. After another slow drive got its start, the rumblings in the stands began of fans fearing another Miami/New York debacle. Suddenly, Cunningham let one rip down the sideline to Freddy Barnett, picking up a svelte 47 yards. The Eagles kept the yardage positive down the rest of the field, capping it off with an exciting cross-body throw from Cunningham to Barnett that finally put a crooked number on the scoreboard just before the half.
Halftime - Eagles 7, Redskins 0
Washington took the ball to start the second half, and were immediately rewarded with an Earnest Byner injury. Fortunately, Rypien found his second biggest weapon in Ricky Ervins with a 50-yard touchdown connection that had Ervins outracing nearly all of Philadelphia's defenders. The Eagles responded with a quick drive deep into Redskins' territory, but not scoring quickly enough came back to bite them in the form of a third lost Walker fumble. Ricky Sanders told the story of Washington's next drive, taking the reverse for three straight plays that equalled 12 yards, then -5 and another -5. Ervins couldn't bail his quarterback out a second time, and Kelly Goodburn readied another punt going into the fourth quarter.
End of 3rd Quarter - Eagles 7, Redskins 7
Cunningham finally broke open for a big run, streaking for 57 yards to the Washington 33 and setting up a second Cunningham-to-Barnett connection to regain the lead. The Redskins continued the scoring flurry however, with Sanders getting his reverse on for 32 yards on 2 carries after a stellar Brian Mitchell return. Sanders capped off the drive in style with another reverse to tie the game. With enough time remaining to suck the air out of a second Tecmo Bowl trip for Washington, the Eagles drove fast and hard behind the daggers of Keith Byars, finally setting up a Calvin Williams catch-and-run up the middle to score.
Final Score: Eagles 21, Redskins 14
Knowing what was necessary to keep their dreams of a repeat alive, the Redskins found their foes in Philadelphia to be a bit more tough and hungry than they, falling short of not just another division crown but a playoff berth altogether in the midst of a highly competitive NFC field. Though the holidays were cut short for our friends from the nation's capitol, the rest of us are caught up now and ready to look ahead to the final week of blood-letting in this long and difficult 1992 season. The Eagles have the best chance to lay claim to the NFC East, and after this performance that saw them do everything outside of relenting it's almost a given. With an offense that's clicking and a defense that cracks mirrors, Philadelphia appears to not fear the short week ahead of them riding into the last week of regular season play.
NFC East
