Strike up the band, we're headed into the final regular season of Tecmo Bowl. Seventeen weeks ago, we were advised to avoid this nonsense for another year. Instead, we forged through to another successful season of broken bones and, after this week, broken hearts. The AFC has their three kings on their thrones, though the wild card has five teams all jammed in the neck of the bottle jockeying for position. The NFC, meanwhile, has seven teams fighting for six spots, though the positioning of those six is anyone's guess. They say when there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth. Let's hope Browning Nagle stays buried when the seeds are finally locked up in the hell of the NFL postseason.
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AFC East
Not only has Miami cinched up an AFC East title, they also sealed the deal on home field throughout the playoffs with last week's win. Meanwhile, it's been six weeks since the Bills lost a game, a surge good enough to give them a wild card berth. For the Jets, however, those past six games haven't been kind, as they went from a divisional contender to the AFC runt fighting to suckle at the teat of destiny.
New York either clinches a wild card with a win, or is eliminated with a loss. While their tie game against the Dolphins seemed certain to cloud things at the end, it now serves as a final ultimatum to Gang Green.
AFC Central
While the rest of their division played patty-cake all season, the Houston Oilers once again bubbled to the top to lay claim to the AFC Central. It wasn't always pretty, but then again with Warren Moon in charge it's not always about the looks. Cincinnati fell from grace after a promising 3-0 start to begin their campaign at a second straight postseason before going 3-9 the final 12 games. That leaves Pittsburgh and Cleveland, two old, ironclad AFC bastards still kicking out the vitals.
Playing each other with identical records, Cleveland and Pittsburgh are either in with wins, or their loss to the other means they're looking for a New York and Los Angeles loss to stay alive.
AFC West
San Diego wrapped up the West just in time to self-destruct over their last four games, losing twice to their divisional foes in Los Angeles along with a mind-rattling loss to lowly Phoenix. In line for a first-week bye, the Chargers will now need to cross their fingers for a Houston loss or a better differential. Though the rest of the AFC West resembled a graveyard this season, the Raiders have used their two late-season defeats of San Diego to get back in a competitive stance in Week 17.
Los Angeles can suit up with a win along with help from New Orleans against New York and a better differential against the loser of Cleveland/Pittsburgh.

The Eagles were our preseason pick to take the division, and they're in good shape with a game against the floundering Giants on the schedule. However, though Philadelphia was the sexy pick, Dallas was our tight-lipped choice for the Tecmo Bowl, though their route is a bit trickier against another playoff contender in Chicago. Washington can't repeat after their Monday night loss, perhaps giving them that all-too-useless title of best team to miss out on the party.
Philadelphia is already in, and can win it all with another victory. Dallas is in the party with a win, and can take the division should Philadelphia falter.
NFC Central
Minnesota isn't the same team we saw in the Conference Championship last year, though they have an unbelievable chance to repeat with a very palatable point differential against Chicago should they both finish the way they've ran all season, neck and neck. The Vikings also win the match-up draw, getting the last-place Packers against the Bears' opponent in Dallas to conclude the season. It's really Minnesota's division to hand over, though Rich Gannon is the last person we'd trust with a silver platter.
It's pretty basic between Minnesota and Chicago, though the Vikings obviously own the tiebreaker. Either way, they're both in with a win or a San Francisco loss.
NFC West
The NFC West was a wild cluster all season long. San Francisco has found themselves on the wrong end of some distance, however, as a result of their 1-4 record over the last 5 games. They're the odd man out in the wild card race, having already been eliminated from a division that Atlanta seems to finally have a chokehold on.
Atlanta is in, and can take the division with a win. New Orleans is in with a victory, and can take the division with their sizable point differential should Atlanta lose. San Francisco needs the most help, with a win and a loss from any of the contending teams ahead of them to attempt to break a tie.
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Our featured games have seen their final days, though that doesn't mean we won't have a prying eye on some of the more curious contests this week. Though there are four spots locked up in the AFC West, there's still a lot to play for in terms of bye weeks and the final two wild cards. The NFC has three divisions with two teams each still battling for the right to having future thrift-store t-shirts printed, along with seeds 4-6 still up for grabs. Here be your list of pivotal games with additional content in Week 17:
New Orleans (10-5) at New York Jets (7-7-1)
Pittsburgh (8-7) at Cleveland (8-7)
Dallas (10-5) at Chicago (8-5)
And for the Denver fan in us all, we went back in time to visit John Elway and let him know the final results of his 1992 season. We'd share his reaction, but felt this photo really told the whole story.
See you on Sunday!
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