Looking Ahead: Week Thirteen

We are thrust into Week 13 with some enticing scenarios and a few shots at playoff berths. For the first time in our Looking Ahead feature, we'll post the current playoff seeds and let you know who's in, who's still got a chance, and who's getting their punch cards ready for the golf course. We'll also let you know of any clinching scenarios, however to do that I might have to break out my TI-83. I'll have to ask that you please wait while I finish this game of Drugwars first, however.

Score: What I said when I traded for this

Tampa Bay, one of the teams still clinging on to the bubble, welcomes the Giants to town. New York got back on track with a win over Dallas on Thanksgiving, and are now tied with Washington in first place. It's a game the Bucs obviously need more, but it ultimately comes down to whether or not Vinny Testaverde drinks his pickle juice. Dallas, another team sliding off the bubble pretty quickly, needs to turn it around on the road against first-place Washington, while the Rams look hungry to snag at least a share of the division lead with San Francisco after eleven weeks of being on top. The Rams have one win over the 49ers this season, and another one here could be what they need to break a tie at the end of the season. It could also prove that Willie Anderson is more than just a pretty Score card model.

Minnesota takes their 11-1 record into Detroit very much in charge of their destiny. A loss here doesn't really do much to the Vikings' playoff chances, but it certainly says a lot about their ability to hide Rodney Peete's money well. The Raiders seem content to let the rest of the AFC pass them by, but could still prove to be a black and silver thorn in Cincinatti's side as the Bengals try to hold on to a very shaky wild card spot in the AFC. Meanwhile, Cleveland and Kansas City play a pretty meaningless game in Week 13, which is a phrase I could have predicted saying about 13 weeks ago.

NOM NOM NOM

The Oilers have a possible clinching scenario depending on what happens in Los Angeles with the Bengals, and considering they're playing the bumbling Bristers we're pretty sure of covering the spread when it comes to seeing some sky blue jerseys and happy 8-bit music very soon. In what is usually a basement battle between the Saints and Falcons, New Orleans hopes to keep their magical season afloat by evening up at .500 against the very dangerous dirty birds of the ATL. And in the final game of the afternoon, Seattle travels to Denver with a chance for some serious shake-ups in the AFC West. Dave Krieg looks to redeem himself from a shoddy performance in Week 3, while also pulling his Seahawks within one game of a division lead tie. Look for the vaunted Denver 'D' to put the brakes on Seattle's playoff drive, however, when Warren Powers is caught gnawing on Derrick Fenner's leg in the back of the end zone.

The late games get going with San Diego taking a day off against the Jets and Philadelphia needing to hold off the Cardinals' inevitable second win to possibly jump into the playoff party. Green Bay can keep the champagne corked in Minnesota with an important win against the Colts, while Buffalo gets dealt a straight flush with New England coming to town in the midst of a divisional race with Miami. Speaking of flushes, it appears the Patriots may go the distance with a 1-15 turd of a season -- perhaps the only exciting race in the AFC East this year.

The Monday Night game brings the Dolphins and Bears into our living room. While Miami continues streaking with 7 games in a row and counting, the Bears are in desperate need of another big win here. They trounced the Colts last week, showing signs of the formidable team they were earlier in the season, and will need another one of those big performances from Neal Anderson if they want to sneak by the Dolphins and put some heat on Green Bay and the other wild card contenders. Unfortunately, they'll have to take on the number one ranked overall offense, led by the immortal Dan Marino, invincible Tony Paige, and impenetrable Harry Galbreath.

Just don't tell him about the Snickers bar in Reggie Roby's shoe

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AFC
1. Miami (9-2)
2. Houston (9-2)
3. Denver (8-3)

Wild Card
4. Bills (7-3-1)
5. Chargers (7-4)
6. Bengals (6-5)

On the Bubble
Seattle (6-5)
L.A. Raiders (5-6)
Kansas City (5-6)
Pittsburgh (4-7)
N.Y. Jets (4-7)
Cleveland (4-7)

Playoff Scenarios:

AFC East
None

AFC Central

Oilers clinch division with win AND Cincinnati loss

AFC West

None

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NFC
1. Minnesota (11-1)
2. Washington (7-4)
3. San Francisco (7-4)

Wild Card
4. N.Y. Giants (7-4)
5. Green Bay (6-4-1)
6. L.A. Rams (6-5)  

On the Bubble
Philadelphia (6-5)
Dallas (5-6)
Chicago (5-6)
Tampa Bay (5-6)
New Orleans (5-6)

Playoff Scenarios:

NFC East
None

NFC Central

Vikings clinch playoff spot with win

Vikings clinch division with win OR Green Bay loss

NFC West

None