Looking Ahead: Week Fourteen

We're three quarters down, and every game counts for teams on the bubble. For the ones not so lucky, well, it's quite possible they've come down with Decemberitis and have their sights set on beaches and pina coladas rather than frozen grass and watered down Gatorade. Despite this, we've got some exciting games on the docket, and no, that's not me begging you, constant reader, to continue on in this endeavor. That's entirely up to you, and here's to me hoping that you haven't figured out that you're reading about a simulated Tecmo season yet.

Buffalo and Miami continue to play keep-away with the rest of the division, while also trying to avoid colliding with each other in the process. The Bills will welcome the Jets to town with a basket of whoop-ass, while Miami travels intrastate to Tampa Bay to do battle with a desperate Bucs team. The Dolphins are coming off an embarrassing defeat in Chicago, and may unfairly lash out against the sabre-less Buccaneers and end their rum and pipe-filled dreams of a playoff chance. Meanwhile, the Raiders play host to division-leading Chargers with hopes of dethroning them and pulling within a game of first, depending on whether or not the charging steeds in Denver can keep Grogan's Patriots blockaded from entering the land of victory for another week.

In the Battle of Blondies, Boomer takes the cake

The Giants have stormed into sole possession of the NFC East lead after dwelling in the basement for the first quarter, and welcome their newest challenge in Cincinnati. Bengals QB Boomer Esiason is coming off of his worst game of the year, but may have a chance to come back against a 23rd-ranked Giants pass defense. Elsewhere in the East, the Redskins travel cross-country to challenge the fading Rams, the biggest Saints fans this week outside of that hobo who found a 1987 Wild Card Saints t-shirt at the Good Will. The afternoon wraps up with the Seahawks trying to keep pace in the AFC West against the Chiefs, and the Colts trying to keep pace with the Patriots for most blooper reel clips against Cleveland.

The late afternoon brings us two games in which NFC Central foes are fighting for some postseason life. Green Bay travels to Atlanta in the midst of the Falcons' SpoilerMania festival. Atlanta's won two straight over potential playoff teams, and could give the Packers some trouble if they can pull it off at home. The Chicago Bears will be in Soldier Field, and despite the chilly weather the Bears have been playing hot as of late with Neal Anderson at the helm. Detroit has been its normal pitiful self as of late, but do travel to Chicago as the defeaters of the undefeatable Minnesota Vikings, and playing in their division could give them the heat to cause some havoc.

We then turn our eyes to the NFC East, where Philadelphia will have a tough test against Houston to keep pace, and where the Dallas Cowboys, a team still on life support, battle the Steelers with Bubby Brister holding the plug.

Don't make this so easy, Joe

You'll find us at Candlestick Park on Monday Night, where the 49ers, winners of 7 straight, clash with division mates in the New Orleans Saints. The Bourbon Street favorites have made things interesting this season with some big wins, but none would be bigger than knocking the Niners down a peg and snagging an extra game in the race for a division title. With how competitive the entire NFC has been, it may be tough for New Orleans to land in the Wild Card, and so they're looking for a big performance from Steve Walsh. Walsh nearly outplayed Joe Montana in their last square dance, and he'll have to dig a little deeper here amidst the beads and masques to find a performance steeped in gold. Montana's already got a few of those, next to his four golden rings, dozen golden football cards and sixteen gold-plated jockstraps.


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AFC
1. Miami (9-3)
2. Houston (10-2)
3. Denver (8-4)

Wild Card
4. Bills (8-3-1)
5. Chargers (8-4)
6. Seahawks (7-5)

On the Bubble
Cincinnati (6-6)
L.A. Raiders (6-6)
Kansas City (5-7)
Cleveland (5-7)

Playoff Scenarios:

AFC East
None

AFC Central

Oilers clinch outright with win OR Cincinnati loss

AFC West

None

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NFC

1. *Minnesota (11-2)
2. N.Y. Giants (8-4)
3. San Francisco (8-4)

Wild Card
4. Washington (7-5)
5. Philadelphia (7-5)
6. Green Bay (6-5-1)

On the Bubble
Chicago (6-6)
  L.A. Rams (6-6)
Dallas (6-6)
Tampa Bay (5-7)
New Orleans (5-7)

Playoff Scenarios:

NFC East
None

NFC Central

Division Champions: Vikings

NFC West

None

Byes: Minnesota Vikings, Phoenix Cardinals