The Tecmo Bowl: Looking Ahead: Week Seven

It's week seven, and we're all high in Tecmo heaven by now. I'm not going to try and fool you all into thinking that there isn't a slight stale taste to this season at times, but we've already come so far. And if we're already this balls-deep in analyzing match-ups, possible playoff scenarios, and Burt Grossman sightings at the Brass Rail, we might as well finish this loaf before going on to the next, fresh, hot from the oven taste of the next Tecmo season. It's not strange to have these feelings in the midst of bye week hell, but put your trust in me, my fellow Tecmoers, for I will not lead you astray.

This Sunday will showcase games in which the Giants will look for their fourth consecutive win to go above .500 for the first time this year, while the 49ers chase their first win after four consecutive losses. One of the big early games, however, will be the L.A. Raiders heading up the coast to Seattle to play the current division leaders in the Seahawks. L.A. has silently been creeping up the standings, and with a win in Seattle they'll have gone from worst to potentially first in just four games. I'm not usually the superstitious type, but I would be remiss in not mentioning that the Raiders' win streak strangely coincided with the arrival of my 'Bo Knows Tecmo' shirt...just saying...

And my shameless plugging continues on...

Indianapolis has had a rough go of it since surprisingly winning their first two of three games this year and teetering in first place for an entire week. They've now lost three in a row and are in danger of a fourth when Buffalo rides into town. Although the season's been rife with some astounding upsets so far this year, we aren't so naive to think that the Colts stand an iota of a chance in a one-on-one match-up with QB Bills and Co. Therefore, if the Colts do somehow manage to pull this one out at home, we may have to give them a special trophy in exchange for their forfeiture of the rest of the season. Otherwise, they'll just have to go to Buffalo for the inevitable rematch only to get stomped on, killing the buzz worse than that time Mom forgot to knock.

212.7 is also his rating for 'girls picked up at the bar'

The Rams are back from a bye, up against another division leader in the Chargers. We're hoping L.A. hasn't lost their steam, as we're pretty sure Tom Rathman is beefing up for a big comeback, but the Chargers have been a tricky foe so far this year. With both starting RBs out for each team, it may end up being Jim Everett vs. B.J. Tolliver, in which there is really no contest. Everett's passer rating is good for first in the NFL at 212.7, whereas Tolliver barely registers in the top two quadrants.

The afternoon game schedule is a bit shortened with 6 teams on bye weeks, but there's no shortage of excitement! /hyperbole...Kansas City invites the Dolphins to town, needing to get back on the winning track. Miami, on the other hand, will see what happens in Indianapolis before taking the field, knowing that a win must be in the cards to keep pace. Meanwhile, Philadelphia will send a team out to the field that may or may not include someone with the last name 'Eagles' when they travel to N'awlins to take on the fading Saints. And finally, Phoenix hitches their apple wagon on to Johnny Johnson and rides north to Minnesota for the first of two games against the Vikings in three weeks. We're still unsure if it's due to some sort of scheduling SNAFU, or if the NFL was somewhat hoping they'd try to out-reverse each other enough times to reverse out of the league altogether.

Physical Condition: Usually between 'Bad' and 'Vegetative'

And then, all our rowdy friends get together in Houston to watch the Ken O.Brien show battle the Oilers, a team that lost their bid as the only undefeated team last week. Houston usually loses their flair after going 5-0 each year, but with a favorable match-up here they should hold off Bubby Brister's squared jaw while holding on to the Central crown for at least another week. The Jets have been just a shade above horrible so far this year, with few redeeming qualities. They're 28th in total defense, which means any combination of Lorenzo White/Warren Moon will lead to a quick funeral on the national stage for New York. If it's held before Al Toon's memorial, however, we admit we'd be a little surprised.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for....ASTERISKS!!!!****!*!*!*!!!!

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AFC