1:00 Games
Seattle (3-8) * Denver (5-6)
Gelbaugh came unglued in a desperation game for the Seattle squad, throwing 303 yards with a nearly 80% completion rate to keep his Seahawks on the bubble. Denver's quest for an unexpected playoff spot is stalled, perhaps until next season, when Elway reverted to his sub-par play of just 136 yards passing and an interception. It's inspiring to see Seattle show this type of resilience, though tape of their first 11 games shouldn't even be shown in a military detention camp.
Final Score: Seahawks 38, Broncos 17
Dallas (7-4) * New York Giants (3-8)
In the first of just four intra-divisional match-ups today, Dallas all but puts New York out their long-standing misery with another stellar day from Emmitt Smith, taking on another 93 yards to his league-leading total. Jeff Hostetler wasn't entirely incompetent, throwing 0 interceptions to 219 yards, though he was bested by his counterpart in Troy Aikman, who is finally clicking and finding his star receivers consistently, such as Michael Irvin and his 106 yards on 4 catches.
Final Score: Cowboys 34, Giants 24
Washington (6-5) * Phoenix (1-10)
The little bro bashing continues with Washington tacking on another win against the lowly Cardinals behind Mark Rypien and his accurate arm. Gary Clark adds his name to the hit list of Phoenix's bullies with 105 receiving yards and 5 catches. For the Cardinals, Johnny Johnson was the favorite target, catching the ball twice for 65 yards and signifying the state of the Phoenix offense. The defending NFC champions are making another surge in the NFC East, much to the chagrin of ageists everywhere.
Final Score: Redskins 34, Cardinals 24
Green Bay (4-7) * Tampa Bay (4-7)
Two teams going nowhere in the NFC Central meet in a contest that has Vinny Testaverde out-passing Brett Favre 342 yards to 108. Lawrence Dawsey has the type of day current fantasy players pay Benjamins for with 164 yards receiving on just 5 throws from Testaverde. With the loss, Green Bay is sniffing the six feet of soil they're about to be buried under. The first season for coach Mike Holmgren and Favre has been forgettable, leaving us to wonder what the future holds for sexting in this alternate dimension.
Final Score: Buccaneers 38, Packers 20
Minnesota (8-3) * L.A. Rams (5-6)
The Rams flavor of Los Angeles wins a huge game for themselves while also stalling the stumbling Vikings. Quarterback Jim Everett continued the trend of the tremendous quarterback this week with 311 yards tossed, throwing 4 completions to rookie tight end Jim Price for 131 yards. Rich Gannon, in his campaign to be the worst quarterback to lead his team to a division championship, threw just 171 yards with 3 picks and now Minnesota is treacherously close to tripping on their own shoelaces with Chicago taking the inside track.
Final Score: Rams 35, Vikings 21
Indianapolis (2-9) * Buffalo (6-5)
It was the closest the Colts came to their first win since Week 2, but they were once again thwarted by a Buffalo team rising from the ashes. Thurman Thomas pushes his way into MVP talks with another day of 100+ yards, this time on just 7 attempts. Jeff George played his best game during the streak, throwing 304 yards and completing his passes 75% of the time. Nonetheless, Buffalo gets into the wild card race, while the Colts cap off an unmatchable futility streak by mathematically eliminating themselves from contention.
Final Score: Bills 35, Colts 28
Kansas City (2-9) * New York Jets (6-4-1)
The Jets tried their hardest to give Kansas City a shot behind Browning Nagle's 22% completion and just 44 yards thrown, but their own defense ruined it by crushing Krieg and just allowing 126 yards with 2 picks. The 'D' of New York has been their only hope in this 1992 season, and the seemingly undesired win keeps them in a suddenly hotly contested race in the AFC East. The Chiefs are out of the playoffs, though we're certain Derrick Thomas had his La Quinta card punched back in mid-October.
Final Score: Jets 14, Chiefs 10
Houston (7-4) * Detroit (3-8)
The Lions were the talk of Thanksgiving last week, but it was back to business as usual against Houston. The Oilers continue to soar back into the head of the class behind none other than Warren Moon and his 240 yards. Barry Sanders falls back into his rut after just one game, only meeting 55 yards on 12 attempts, though he did add 68 more with 2 receptions from Rodney Peete who seemingly couldn't find anyone else. The Lions join Kansas City and the Colts in the dried-up kiddie pool with the loss.
Final Score: Oilers 23, Lions 17
New Orleans (9-2) * Miami (7-3-1)In a potential Tecmo Bowl meet-up, the Saints fail to be the first team to 10 wins after a 13-0 run in the 4th quarter by Miami. Up until that point, the man they call Ironhead, Craig Heyward led the early games in rushing with 135 yards on just 7 attempts for a nearly 20-yard per rush average. The stat somewhat covers up the glaring off-day by Bobby Hebert with just 122 yards and 2 picks despite an otherwise 75% completion rate. Not even Marino's AA coach could cover up his 27% and 88 yards, however.
Final Score: Dolphins 23, Saints 21
4:00 Games
Cleveland (5-6) * Chicago (7-4)
The Bears win a game of two teams heading in separate directions. The Browns lose their fourth straight and are now hanging on a thread in both their division and within the wild card discussion. Mike Tomczak still bested Jim Harbaugh in the air with 244 yards passing to Wild Jim's 175 and 2 picks, 125 of those to back-up runner Neal Anderson. With a different player losing the game for Cleveland each week, it was Matt Stover who was struck by the lightning of the Tecmo Gods with his first missed extra point of the year.
Final Score: Bears 21, Browns 20
Atlanta (8-3) * New England (3-9)
Steve Broussard's uncharacteristic 105 yards rushing on 12 attempts was overshadowed by rising star in Kevin Turner, who racked up 112 of his own in a losing effort for New England. After leading his team to a big win last week against the Jets, Turner's output couldn't be matched through the air by Hugh Millen who was torched by Atlanta's Chris Miller 264 yards to 147. With the win, the Falcons keep the fire hot at the heels of New Orleans leading up to their huge tussle next week.
Final Score: Falcons 31, Patriots 21
San Francisco (8-3) * Philadelphia (8-3)
In this sure to be a tasty playoff preview, the Eagles eke one out against San Francisco, delivering upon the mighty behemoths of the West their third loss in four games and second in a row. Steve Young and Mike Sherrard continue to build their chemistry with 139 yards between themselves, but fell to Herschel Walker's career day of 151 yards on 12 attempts, making up for a paltry 104 yard showing by Randall Cunningham. With the win, the Eagles take sole ownership of the East and knock the Giants out of contention.
Final Score: Eagles 28, 49ers 24
Pittsburgh (7-4) * Cincinnati (5-6)
The honeymoon is over for the Steelers at the expense of divisional hangers-on in Cincinnati, who put up 28 points on the scoreboard in the 2nd half. Barry Foster continued his MVP-like season as a threat not just behind the line, but as a receiver with 114 yards on just 4 catches. The quarterback battle was a wash between O'Donnell and Esiason, with similar completion ratings and Esiason winning in yards but not interceptions, throwing two more than Neil. Warren Moon's bender is back on.
Final Score: Bengals 35, Steelers 21
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