Monday Night Football: Chicago vs Pittsburgh

Two teams on the verge of an improbable playoff berth meet up tonight in a make-or-break game. And speaking of 'breaking', both teams have a propensity for turning limbs in the wrong direction and making skin turn unnatural shades of purple when they're through. It's hard to think either team could be prepared for extra-curricular games whether they win or not, so we should extend our gratitude for their exhibition of the following bloodbath. Should points somehow be scored, we'll have to tack that up as a bonus.


Quarter One
Rookie Darren Lewis out of Texas A&M takes the short Gary kick to his team's 39-yard line. Coach Ditka sends out his scrap heap of an offense, led by the beaten and battered Jim Harbaugh, who proceeds to get things rolling with a pass to Wendell Davis that shears the grass about 10 yards in front of his intended receiver. The ball is given to the ghost of Neal Anderson who runs up the middle for 3 yards, followed up by a more successful gallop of 16 after breaking a few tackles at the line. Davis is a bit closer to the ball on Harbaugh's first down pass, though the Steelers defense is prepared with double coverage of the star receiver. On second down, Harbaugh launches the ball in Keith Jennings' direction instead, and the open receiver lays out for the pass to punch an exclamation point on Chicago's impressive opening drive.

Chicago leads 7-0

Able-bodied Dwight Stone fails to cross over his team's 10-yard line on the kickoff, putting his team in a precarious position against one of the NFL's most advantageous defenses. Mike Singletary starts the party for the Bears' defense with a sack of Neil O'Donnell to the 2-yard line. Barry Foster gets some positive yardage on second down with a 6-yard run to open up some breathing room, though it's still 1 yard too short when Dick Dent barrels around the line, undetected, for a safety of O'Donnell.

Chicago leads 9-0

Lewis fumbles the kick return, though the Pittsburgh fans in attendance are forced to exhale disappointment when the Bears' special teams bails him out with the recovery. From the 40-yard line, Brad Muster takes control with two runs of nearly 20 yards to boost the immediate sales of neck rolls across the country. The streaking drive nearly comes to a grinding halt when Harbaugh throws a dangerous pass into coverage. He's saved for one more play with even Pittsburgh being averse to his throws, though he'd more than likely give it back after Greg Lloyd indents his body into the field and picks up his fumble for a long return to the Chicago 40-yard line.

Quarter Two
Merrill Hoge makes his presence known with three straight runs to start Pittsburgh's next drive. The first one goes for 4 yards, while the second goes for 6. The third goes for -25 when he bobbles the ball at the line and Ron Cox runs it back for Chicago.

Tom Waddle continues his All-Star campaign for Chicago with a 20-yard reception he's forced to lay out for. With his spotlight apparently burning a bit too bright, Waddle fumbles the ball away after another 15-yard reception, allowing Davis  to scoop it up and run a few more yards. Brad Muster keeps Neal on the oxygen reserves with two runs netting 11 yards for a first down to the Pittsburgh 15, though it's the ghost of Chicago's past who is open in the flat for a touchdown catch. Neal's now up to 9 receiving touchdowns to 0 rushing, making about as much sense as Chicago's gargantuan lead over Pittsburgh after just a quarter and a half.

Chicago leads 16-0

Stone breaks open a big return to the Pittsburgh 39-yard line, setting his team up for just their fifth offensive play of the game. It starts off innocently enough with Foster bumping into his own line, before he breaks through and tears down the field to the Chicago 9-yard line. With a bit of time to spare, the Steelers try to get inventive with a Hoge run up the middle that's stuffed at the 2-yard line. Pittsburgh is rewarded for their cuteness with a Singletary sack of O'Donnell for a 9-yard loss, putting them in a 3rd-and-goal situation from the 11-yard line. O'Donnell finds tight end Adrian Cooper at the 3-yard line, though the Bears are waiting for him like hungry...bears. Defeated, the Steelers send Gary Anderson out to chip in a 20-yarder as the half comes to a close.

Chicago leads 16-3

Halftime - Bears 16, Steelers 3

Quarter Three

Pittsburgh gets chance number two after Stone's return to the 27-yard line. Jeff Graham out of Dayton, Ohio, makes a remarkable grab at the 42-yard line. When Foster and Hoge are both stopped at the line on consecutive plays, O'Donnell goes back to the air and finds Graham open once more for a 49-yard gain after a long run along the sidelines. With the hit out, Graham cautiously avoids O'Donnell's next pass, putting the ball back in Foster's hands. He runs to the 2-yard line, setting up an opportune 1st-and-goal situation that sees Merril Hoge run backwards and Graham once again punting the ball that comes his way. On a big 4th-and-1, the man that should have gotten the ball 3 plays ago does so and Foster runs into the end zone untouched.

Chicago leads 16-10

Beginning at their own 25, Chicago is looking to answer Pittsburgh's first big score. Their ensuing drive offers up more questions, however, with Harbaugh faking a run and throwing to Anderson's back followed by a hobbled Anderson getting washed over by a wave of Steelers. On 3rd and 9, David Little has Harbaugh questioning which day of the week it is with a big sack to stamp an impressive defensive stop.

Stone rides the momentum to the Pittsburgh 40-yard line on the punt return. Foster, second only to the cyborg in Dallas, continues his breakout campaign with a 35-yard run that puts Chicago on their heels long enough to set up O'Donnell's beautiful rainbow pass to Graham for the tight-end's much deserved touchdown to give Pittsburgh their first lead.

Pittsburgh leads 17-16

Gary Anderson kicks the ball off his ankle, giving Chicago good field position at their own 44-yard line. Muster pulls in a nice 18-yard grab just in time to flip the field and get his team driving.

Quarter Four
The fourth quarter starts off a bit slower for the Bears, with Muster only mustering 2 yards and Jennings tickling the bottom of the aired out ball on 2nd down. Muster gets just 3 more yards, putting Kevin Butler on the field to attempt a 52-yarder. The ball sails about as far right as Mike Ditka's new aorta will after his next bypass surgery.
 
O'Donnell starts the pity party with a needled pass to Cooper up the middle for a 15-yard gain, followed by another 10-yarder to Graham. Those two plays will have to remain in his obituary, however, after he's buried on two straight sacks from Mike Singletary netting 18 yards in the negative. On 3rd-and-28, O'Donnell's fractured body attempts play action, though it's possible he actually was trying to give the ball away, leaving his splintered and wobbly arm to lob up a lame duck for Donnell Woolford to intercept for a late-game chance to put his Bears back in the lead.

The Anderson-Muster duo gets off to a slow start with just 2 combined yards, and though Harbaugh's cross-body pass to Davis sails hopelessly wild, Singletary's effectively positive yardage for the Bears is enough for Butler's second chance from 47. His kick is straight and true this time, allowing Chicago fans to rejoice with just over a minute to go.

Chicago leads 19-17

After a hefty kick from Butler, the Steelers are staring at a long field from their own 3-yard line. Hoge heroically makes it a memory with a 40-yard saunter after dodging a near-tackle in his own end zone, followed by another run to midfield as the clock hits the minute mark. Two plays later and facing 3rd-and-8, however, O'Donnell opts to use his arm but finds his beard out of lucky strokes as his pass falls harmlessly incomplete. Going for broke on 4th down, Hoge tries to catch the Bears' 'D' off guard once more, which he nearly does when Chicago gives up 7 of the 8 needed yards. 

Final: Bears 19, Steelers 17

It's hard to say who needed the game more, though it appears the Bears played as if they did with a busy day from their defense, namely Mike Singletary and his 4 sacks, as well as an effective-enough Jim Harbaugh taking advantage of opportunities to steal the win from the Steelers. Barry Foster had a monster day from an average back's perspective, though he didn't have an answer for the tough Chicago defense when it mattered most. Meanwhile, the usually quiet Jeff Graham had a solid day wasted, though his performance showed off yet another weapon for the Steelers who, despite the loss, still control their destiny going into the wild card race. The Bears are playing tough late, and as long as the Vikings continue to collapse, their blowout losses earlier in the season could be distant memories as they neck roll through the playoffs.