Monday Night Football: NY Jets vs New England

In what would normally be a basement level brawl in the AFC East, the Jets will now hope to use the hapless Patriots as a springboard to keep even with Miami in a very tight race for the division lead. The only thing truly separating these two teams is the strong defense of New York, though even that group appears to be tiring out a few weeks too early. They shouldn't have too much of a problem with a Millen-helmed defense tonight, though as of late there's been some rumblings coming out of Alabama of a young, able-bodied running back named Kevin Turner making some waves for the Patriots. As long as the Jets aren't caught unawares and quarterback Browning Nagle doesn't play like a zombie chicken, New York should be able to bounce back for a much-needed win.

Quarter One
Return specialist Jon Vaughn puts his Patriots at the 15-yard line to start the game. He can't bail his quarterback out on first down when Millen faces a full-on Jets blitz, though on second down the man from Des Moines has a much calmer pocket to launch a long 42-yard pass to Greg McMurtry. Finally finding their one successful play 12 weeks into the season, Millen airs it out once more to McMurtry but has his pass knocked away in the end zone. They opt for a shorter connection, with the one-time Red Sox first-rounder taking the pass at the New York 28-yard line. The first play to Weapon X, otherwise known as Kevin Turner, is a failure of a pass, though he resets his confidence with two plays that net 19 yards to slash his way into the red zone. Kyle Clifton stops the bleeding for the moment with an 11-yard sack of Millen, shaking him up enough to see two of Brian Washington intercepting him in the end zone.

New York runs a play action on first down, fooling nobody on the usually short-bus-occupying Patriots defense. Blair Thomas picks up a weak 4 yard run on 2nd down, though it appears rather Espy-Award worthy compared to his 2-yard loss on 3rd down to force a punt.

Though Michael Timpson has a hard time doing anything with Louie Aguiar's punt, the Prattville Punisher (Kevin Turner's alter ego) finishes up the quarter with a mean 32-yard run to put his team in Jets territory and immediately picking up where they left off on the last drive, with Turner melting hearts and Millen forcing bathroom breaks.

Quarter Two
Pin-up boy Turner can't handle Millen's first pass of the quarter, and the sudden panic causes Millen to absorb a second Kyle Clifton sack of the day. On 3rd and 19, Millen throws up along the sidelines for Irving Fryar, who pulls it in at the Jets' 17-yard line. Millen's one-trick pony is in full-gallop mode when his second consecutive pass to Fryar flies hopelessly into the visitor's tunnel. His attempt at getting Vaughn a third receiving touchdown goes unfulfilled, though on another 3rd down play his pass to Fryar is on the money at the 2-yard line and watches his star receiver run it in for a rare touchdown.

New England leads 7-0

Terance Mathis racks up a hefty run to his team's 43-yard line on his first return of the game. Brad Baxter is handed the ball on first down, from which he finds some running room for 20 yards to New England's 37-yard line. Browning Nagle watches no less than 3 receivers streak down the field wide open before experiencing one night in Andre Tippett for a loss of 9 yards. Blair Thomas is called upon to pick up 12 yards, still about 7 short of a first down which he still can't achieve on his second go-round. With a chance to put some points on the board for New York, Cary Blanchard misses his fifth attempt in just eleven tries, this one from 46 yards away.

The only man to escape a Killer Kowalski Claw, Kevin Turner takes a pitch from Millen for 4 yards on first down, but loses 2 of those on the next play when all eleven Jets defenders kamikaze dive on top of him. Undaunted, Turner takes his third straight pitch and picks up a first down and more to the New England 48-yard line. After an innocent miscommunication as Millen throwing to a cute but pesky gopher alone on the 10-yard line, the ball is handed to the unsuspecting Vaughn, who bounces off his left tackle but is otherwise untouched for 52 yards to the score.

New Englands leads 14-0

Mathis takes the kick out from the end zone to the Jets' 35-yard line, though his run leaves only 9 seconds on the clock for Nagle to panic, eschew his two open receivers along the sideline and throw a short pass to Robb Thomas that is harmlessly yet predictably blocked.

Halftime - Patriots 14, Jets 0

Quarter Three
Another stellar Mathis return comes at a high price, with the star receiver going down to a swollen patella. Thomas continues his forgettable day with a 2-yard loss, followed up by Moore finally getting some separation but now unaware what to do with this oblong shaped ball near his hands. On 3rd and 12, Nagle attempts a run of his own, and though his 1-yard run may seem like 100, he mathematically falls short of the remaining yards needed for a first down to force another Louie Aguiar sighting.

A touchback has the Patriots starting at their own 20 with a comfortable lead over the Jets. Wild Man Millen takes advantage of the rare occasion to lob a pass up to Irving Fryar that leaves a decent-sized gash near a table of Gatorade cups. Kyle Clifton has upper New York management thinking of a name change with his one-man show on a third sack of Millen, leading to a pass to Vaughn that falls hopelessly short of a first down.

Freeman McNeil makes his return to kick-fielding to much fanfare, taking the punt 15 yards to the Jets' 45-yard line. Nagle draws upon the play action with not much to lose, finding Moore open along with a desire to catch the ball for their obligatory one connection per game. It's a meaningful one that sees Moore streak down the sideline for a quick 55-yard score to get New York on the board.

New England leads 14-7

Vaughn is unable to get much farther than the 10-yard line on his return, setting up a dangerous 4th sack from Clifton that has the Jets suddenly claiming momentum in a game they had all but let slip away. From the shadow of their goal line, the Patriots are saved once more by Kevin Turner, Vampire Hunter, who escapes a diving defender in the end zone and picks up 8 yards. Millen puts his legs to work, though they disassemble somewhere near the 11-yard line, sounding the bell for a second consecutive Shawn McCarthy punt.

McNeil picks up a few yards to get the Jets a starting spot at the 45-yard line moving into the 4th.

Quarter Four
The Jets continue to put their faith in Thomas, who picks up 3 yards to put his net on the day somewhere around 0. Baxter nabs a rare reception in the flat for a 10-yard gain into New England territory, though it's Nagle who uses his rushing ability to pick up 20 yards on a Patriots' defense caught on their heels. From the 22-yard line, Nagle picks up another 7 before pitching it to Baxter to complete the final 7 needed to knot this one up late.

Score tied 14-14

The Patriots start off a slow, clock-burning drive with a wild overthrow of Fryar that's nearly picked off, along with another pass that's just off the fingertips of Clifton at the line of scrimmage. On 3rd down with 10 yards necessary, Millen drops back and finds a man open, though the 5-yard gain is only notable for the final stat sheet as McCarthy punts it to McNeil for a third straight time.

Suddenly in charge of the game, field general Browning Nagle throws the ball away in the face of a Patriots blitz that nearly proves costly when it goes out of the hands of a New England defender. Thomas is able to run for double digits on second down, though it also takes off double digits from the clock as just over a minute remains in this tied game. Nagle throws incomplete to Moore, the only covered man on the field, and somewhere, some high school quarterbacks coach just had an aneurysm. Baxter takes a pitch on second down, though it's caught immediately and only picks up 2 yards. Tim Goad saves the game for New England on 3rd down with a big sack of Nagle, though New York maintains its hard edge by going for it on 4th down. Though their unconventional play choice of having Thomas go up the middle proves a failure, it still manages to get a round of applause from ironic hipsters at the Built to Spill concert next door.

The Patriots take the ball with just 22 seconds left on the New York side of the field. The Jets send them backwards on first down, however, with a blitz of Turner for a 4-yard loss. Millen drops back on second down and goes for broke with just 15 seconds left, finding Marv Cook who lays out for the ball but can't get out of the frozen mud in time to score. This taxi cab's headed back to the land of deja vu.

Overtime
The Jets win the toss, though any hope the team's fans have at a quick score are dashed when Browning Nagle latches his helmet on and takes the field. The drive starts as slow as ever with a Thomas run for 7 yards, though the nightmares Nagle will have tonight should occur even slower as he watches his pass on second down sail into the gut of Johnny Rembert at the New England 38-yard line.

Kevin Turner the Bounty Hunter gets his team's sails at full mast with two runs that net 30 yards and get the Patriots at the precipice of Jason Staurovsky territory. Clifton breaches the line to knock Turner back 6 yards, though he still shows why his midichlorians are off the charts with a 26-yard scamper to the Jets' 13-yard line. With the soft, drunken whispers of Dan Marino in his ear, coach Dick MacPherson calls Staurovsky on to the field for a 30-yard kick that banks in off the right upright, symbolizing the Patriots banking off a rare late-season win against a fading playoff contender.

Final: Patriots 17, Jets 14 (OT)

 
The Jets come back to the national stage in just a few short weeks, and once again they hit the 14-point glass ceiling. This time, their impotence comes back to bite them in losing to perennial cellar-dwelling Patriots. With Blair Thomas and Browning Nagle leading the team in their respective categories and only totaling 104 yards, they only have New England to thank for not making them look totally inept on the field. Hugh Millen played less-than-horrible enough to keep his game in it, though once again the story of the game for the Patriots was the enigmatic Kevin Turner, who still remains invisible on game tapes to thwart any planning his team's opponents may have. His efforts finally converted into a Patriots win, and though it may be the last for his team, it was a strong showing that shows glimmers of what the future can be should they find a decent quarterback and not trade Turner away to a Caribbean football league.