Week Twelve: Troy's Turkeys and Peete's Potatoes

The Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone, and now most of us are lying on our couches with full stomachs and empty pockets. You may have spent three month's salary during Black Friday, but we're here to offer you some twenty-year old football free of charge. Today you'll see some recaps of the classic Thanksgiving throwdowns involving Detroit and Dallas, alongside today's current lineup of superstars mushing eachother's brains for your enjoyment. So grab a plate of microwaved stuffing and potatoes and let us guide you through the final turn on your holiday weekend of food, football and finding new ways to finance your child's college education.

Game One
Cincinnati (5-5) at Detroit (2-8)

The Bengals have picked up their britches after giving up five straight losses, pulling themselves back to .500 and now drawing the Detroit Lions en route to a pretty decent shot at finding some air in the AFC Central. The Lions have played considerably better than last season, but have yet to find any answers to getting their own record to reflect that. One factor may be the dramatic fall of Barry Sanders from being a rushing threat, putting all the pressure on a man named Peete: Rodney Peete, that is. Rodney's done his best to keep his team in close games, but Barry will need to get back on track against one of the league's worst rush defenses to give the Lions some teeth again.

Quarter One
Harold Green's fall from grace had never been more apparent than in Cincinnati's first drive, which featured him running twice into his own linemen and fumbling the ball over to Ray Crockett on third down. Detroit faced their own struggles over the first two plays, with Peete unable to find open men. Unfortunately, Cincinnati must have recorded the part of the tape where Barry Sanders makes catches out of the backfield with coverage of the Fish Toss at Fountain Square, as they totally left him wide open to bring Peete's pass to paydirt on third down.

Detroit leads 7-0

The Lions blitzed Boomer on three straight plays, but only managed to fluster him for two when he found Green open on 3rd and long to set up a fresh set of downs. Green bailed the Bengals out again on another third down situation with a long run into the red zone. With the targets set to Green, Esiason finally got some breathing room and found a sliding Tim McGee just across the end zone for a game-tying score.

Score tied 7-7

Quarter Two
Like your Grandmother and her classically-trained turkey carving, Peete sliced and diced his way past the Cincinnati secondary, leading to a needled pass to Brent Perriman at the 15-yard line. Peete took it on his own over the next two plays, falling a yard short on third down to set up a crucial call by head coach Wayne Fontes on 4th-and-goal. Emboldened perhaps by their negative win-to-loss ratio, the Lions went for broke on 4th down, leading to a somewhat rare incompletion by Peete in the end zone.

Harold Green was called on once more to get his team as far away from the inch line as possible, successfully moving his team forward until Esiason's flea flicker attempt was picked off. With just under a minute remaining in the quarter, the Lions finish what they started earlier with a Peete-to-Herman Moore touchdown connection of 55 yards.

Detroit leads 14-7

Halftime - Lions 14, Bengals 7

Quarter Three
As it has all year, Detroit's new-look rushing attack featured Rodney Peete taking the ball on a few bootlegs to get the Lions in scoring territory. However, in a more traditional fashion, Peete went to the air to attack the porous Bengals' back four and find Herman Moore once again for their second touchdown and Peete's third of the day.

Detroit leads 21-7

Lions' rookie cornerback and future XFL star for the Los Angeles Outlaws, Kevin Scott, intercepted Boomer's first pass of the drive to cut their comeback campaign a bit short. With a more comfortable lead, the Lions finally put Barry's feet on the turf with Peete's first pitch to the explosive back going for 25 yards. The formula was put back on the shelf, however, with Peete lacing it once more to another reciever, tight end Jimmie Johnson, for another 30+ passing touchdown.

Detroit leads 28-7

Time was running out on the Bengals who needed a big play to pull somewhat closer to Detroit, though with Esiason's arm in question they pulled off a trick play to power runner Derrick Fenner that was on its way to netting 30 yards before he fumbled it back over to Ray Crockett for the heart-stabbing turnover as the quarter expired.

Quarter Four
Even with Peete throwing for short gains, his receivers were still able to gather large amounts of ground, including a 10-yard pass to Perrima to start the quarter going for another 47. Sanders finally got his first score over the next two plays that saw him catching a short pass, along with a pitch, to show off his still-explosive speed for Detroit's first non-Peete involved touchdown of the day.

Detroit leads 35-7

Green's ground game was less than inspired over the next few plays of Cincinnati's possession, so Esiason opted to go to him through the air, successfully connecting with the former Trojan for the Bengals' second touchdown.

Detroit leads 35-14

Sanders picked up the fated onside kick and trampled his way to the Cincinnati 35-yard line, unable to burst past kicker Jim Breech. He was able to close off those remaining yards, however, with two runs to give him just his twelfth touchdown of the season, but his third on the day.

Detroit leads 42-14

With just 47 seconds remaining and the Bengals looking for something positive, they opted to show that they're still the best flea-flicking team in the league. The campaign took a few steps back, however, when Green tossed the ball back to a flattened Boomer and William White picked it up for Detroit to run out the clock on a rare Thanksgiving win.

Final Score: Lions 42, Bengals 14

The Lions laid a turducken-sized thumping on Cincinnati in a game the Bengals needed to win to keep up with the surging Houston and Pittsburgh teams in their division. Though it was just Detroit's third win of the season, it was a dominating one in their first time in the national spotlight this year. Rodney Peete's gunslinging still has him gunning for Comeback Player of the Year, and his growing corps of weapons can only be promising for the Lions future in spoiling other teams' quests for postseason play. This was perhaps the turning point in Cincinnati's once-promising season, exposing them as the turkeys they are. Rodney Peete and his four throwing touchdowns may have his hotel door getting a lot of knocks tonight, yet it was Barry Sanders' three scores and dominant second half that have him feasting on the spoils of a Turkey Day award in the early game.

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Game Two
Phoenix (1-9) at Dallas (6-4)

With Dallas heating up at the right time and the Cardinals playing perhaps their worst football since moving from Racine Street, we're only expecting another Thanksgiving Day stuffing with the high-powered Cowboys' offense trampling all over Phoenix. Of course, we'll still see the glimmers of hope with Chris Chandler throwing a similar 5-for-25 for 400 yards, though their one win during Monday Night may as well be the highlight of this rather dismal season that even we here at the Tecmo Bowl weren't jaded enough to predict.

Quarter One
The Cardinals moved backwards on their first drive, with a 7-yard sack being the only movement from the line of scrimmage. To add insult to even more insults being hurled at the league-worst Cardinals' defense, the usually complex-but-misguided Irvin reverse fooled Phoenix for a 58-yard gain. Daryl Johnston uncharacteristically ran in for Dallas' first score, only highlighting where this day was headed for the Cardinals.

Dallas leads 7-0

The Cowboys went up by two scores when Chandler found himself on the bottom of a Dallas dogpile, coughing the ball up to Charles Haley to run it in for a 40-yard score. The game was already a runaway with Troy and Emmitt not even showing up on the scoreboard yet.

Dallas leads 14-0

Phoenix's first positive amount of yardage comes just when the quarter headed towards its end, as Chandler crossed the midfield point with a 24-yard scamper. The next two plays, however, had a riled up Dallas defense coming down on Chandler with two straight blitzes to knock the Cardinals back to their own 32-yard line.

Quarter Two
With a change of scenery and Chris Chandler's arm fed a few more quarters, he lobbed up a desperation pass to Ricky Proehl near the Dallas 2-yard line. The jump ball was brought in by the soft hands of Clayton Holmes, however, who ran it back to the Dallas 11-yard line. Aikman completed what was surprisingly just his first pass of the game to Jay Novacek, though the usually dependable tight end out of Wyoming bobbled it over to safety Michael Zordich. With the Cardinals given a rare second chance, Chandler continued to build up an unfortunate rapport with cornerback Holmes as the rookie pulled in his second interception in as many passes from Chandler. Dallas' next drive burned Phoenix for their amateur play with Aikman picking apart the defense and unleashing Emmitt Smith for 40-something yards, capped off by a 14-yard reception to score a more traditional Dallas touchdown.

Dallas leads 21-0

Unable to find a way to break through the Cowboys' defense, Phoenix called a few trick plays, finally rewarded by a Ricky Proehl reverse that nets 50 yards. With time running under a minute until halftime, however, the Cardinals are forced to revert back to looking for the big play. Though Johnny Bailey found a hole for 22 yards to set up Phoenix for at least 3 points, Greg Davis and his balsa wood leg had the Cardinals banking off the left upright headed into halftime. However, with 15 seconds still left on the clock, Dallas proved that no amount of time is short enough for Emmitt Smith to run 78 yards to score.

Dallas leads 28-0

Halftime - Cowboys 28, Cardinals 0

Quarter Three
Kelvin Martin was taken out by the Cardinals on the opening kickoff. Though it doesn't limit the amount of attacks in Dallas' arsenal, it did prove their vulnerability and give Phoenix's defense some new wind to keep them from scoring on their first drive of the half. Unfortunately, they still had to run out their offense that, still suffering their personality disorder, went 3-and-out on the ensuing drive. The quarter ended as it began with Aikman cutting the Cardinals apart with a slow, methodical drive.

Quarter Four
After tacking on to his league-leading yards by getting his team to midfield, Emmitt Smith gave way to the capable arm of his quarterback as Aikman found Michael Irvin 40 yards away to get into threatening position once more. Opting to sit Smith on the next play, Aikman, perhaps to win a bet, ran a bootleg to score himself and put Dallas up by a very much insurmountable lead.

Dallas leads 35-0

After figuring out that Johnny Johnson wasn't actually on the injured reserves list, Chandler found his man at midfield and watched Johnson show off his legs to the Dallas 15-yard line. The two-headed Johnny attack returned, even if it was just for a short sweet, second, when Bailey ran up the middle untouched for Phoenix's obligatory score.

Dallas leads 35-7

The Cardinals surprised nobody with an onside kick, though Aikman did raise a few eyebrows in running it back to just outside the red zone. Johnston tried to get involved in a score once again, but the presence of a certain safety once again struck the fear of Zordich in Johnston, causing him to cough it up to the one bright spot in Phoenix's defense. Starting at their own 30 after the return, Chandler got his team down to the end zone with a 26-yard throw to Randal Hill, followed up by a pitch to Bailey in the face of a blitz that covered up the final 54 yards for Phoenix's second consecutive score.

Dallas leads 35-14

Smith picked up the onside kick this time, and followed it up with a 49-yard score to slide the icy knife into Phoenix's back and cement the Cowboys' dominant Thanksgiving win.

Dallas leads 42-14

After four touchdowns were scored in the last quarter alone, Bailey tried his best to make it a fifth with a long return that fell just short of a rare exciting touchdown for Phoenix.

Final Score: Cowboys 42, Cardinals 14

It was a game similar to its earlier match-up in score only, with the Cowboys hardly looking weak at all save for a few untimely turnovers. Though Emmitt Smith was once again the story for Dallas on offense, it was a tough defense that never let Chandler get going on one of his normally explosive attacks. Dallas was just .500 three weeks ago, but since then have won three in a row in what could conservatively be called dominating fashion to put the heat on Philadelphia and Washington in their division. Phoenix fell to a league-worst 10th loss, and now the only thing that can stop the bleeding in the southwest would be Freddie Joe Nunn strongbox-sized hemorrhage.

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With the headache of the holiday over, it's time to get back into the thick of the battle. There's some interesting match-ups today, setting up what's sure to be some hot races down the line. Week 12 generally represents the last gasp for a lot of teams, so let's do some cannonballs and see which teams will float to the surface, and which will sink while attached to the dead weight of Dave Krieg. Due to the heft of our Thanksgiving recaps, we'll present this week's games in abbreviated haiku form.

1:00 Games

Buffalo (5-5) * Atlanta (8-2)

Bills score late to win

Miller still wins the air game

Broussard is a bust

Final Score: Bills 28, Falcons 24

Kansas City (2-8) * Seattle (2-8)

Suck-fest in the West

Seattle has Krieg's number

Stan "Joe Cool" today

Final Score: Seahawks 20, Chiefs 14

Miami (6-3-1) * Houston (7-3)

Dolphins outlast Moon

Marino nearly perfect

Duncan one man show

Final Score: Dolphins 31, Oilers 24

San Diego (8-2) * Tampa Bay (4-6)

Chargers can't be beat

Vinny, more picks than catches

Bucs not in same league

Final Score: Chargers 17, Buccaneers 6

Minnesota (7-3) * Cleveland (5-5)

Vikings eke one out

Gannon strangely efficient

Browns losing ground fast

Final Score: Vikings 24, Browns 17

Green Bay (4-6) * Chicago (6-4)

Muster still the man

Bears win despite Harbaugh

Favre reeks of rookie

Final Score: Bears 24, Packers 10

Philadelphia (7-3) * New York Giants (3-7)

Walker fools New York

Eagles step out from Dallas

Hoss to change his name

Final Score: Eagles 35, Giants 14

4:00 Games

New Orleans (8-2) * Washington (6-4)

Hebert has off day

Heyward bails out with big game

Saints hang for ninth win

Final Score: Saints 17, Redskins 13

San Francisco (8-2) * Los Angeles Rams (4-6)

L.A. scores upset

Everett out-Youngs Steve Young

Rams still thorn in side

Final Score: Rams 34, 49ers 31

Pittsburgh (6-4) * Indianapolis (2-8)

Steelers remain hot

Foster over two hundred

Smells in Hoosier Dome

Final Score: Steelers 27, Colts 14

Los Angeles Raiders (5-5) * Denver (4-6)

Raiders take step back

Chargers send Denver champagne

Todd is no Elway

Final Score: Broncos 37, Raiders 14

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Tomorrow night will be bittersweet as we swing up to visit the New England Patriots in our last featured game of teams yet to be featured. From here, it'll be big games upon big games, suddenly meaning the possibility of my head no longer meeting my keyboard. But before we get ahead of ourselves, I'll have one more romantic weekend between my forehead and the space bar when Millen takes his team against the recently anemic New York Jets. The last time we saw Nagle and Co., they were mired in a tie in the biggest game of their season while Nagle floundered in the spotlight. He gets an immediate chance at redemption, and should come away with a few more supermodel phone numbers going up against a Patriots team that only have a defense because it's mandated by the league.One bright spot for New England includes their running back, Kevin Turner, who's recent one-man wrecking crew gimmick is peaking at just the right time for us to view this debacle.

Looking Ahead: Thanksgiving Edition!

The Thanksgiving holiday will last all weekend long here at the Tecmo Bowl, so make sure to pack your fridge full of leftovers to ready yourself for the festivities. Though Thursday is sure to be jam-packed with your favorite football action on the television screen, we here at the Tecmo Bowl are committed to bring you some of our own brand of football gamesmanship over the weekend with the typical Detroit and Dallas holiday games, along with a featured matchup on Monday night. Don't worry if you get lost, just follow the Bubby Brister balloon all the way down the ol' information superhighway back to the Tecmobowl.com come this weekend to keep that tryptophan hangover rolling right along!

The weekend will start off traditionally with Detroit finally getting their chance in the sun, and it couldn't be more fitting in the Thanksgiving holiday game against Cincinnati. At this stage in the game, however, Detroit will only be lacing up their cleats to play the spoiler against a Bengals team trying to get their head back above water while riding a 2-game win streak. Dallas will return to the spotlight as well, hoping to finally bust their way forth from the 2nd place position they've been riding all season. They'll take on the hopeless Cardinals; though it would only be fair to mention that Phoenix's one win came in their only featured game just a few weeks ago. If they can nab another one here, it may be at the expense of their divisional mates' playoff dreams.

The games to follow on Sunday have the powerhouse of yesteryear in Buffalo battling against one of this year's surprising Goliaths, the Atlanta Falcons. The Bills have gotten back to their winning ways as of late, but a match-up here against the tough-as-nails dirty birds may wind up knocking them back under .500 for the second time this season. Miami and Houston also tussle in a match-up of division leaders. Both teams have underwhelmed against expectations, though Week 12 is usually about the time that the blood in both Warren Moon and Dan Marino's veins begin to react to the 'medication' they've been receiving on the sidelines.You'll also see the Minnesota Vikings attempt to bounce back against an unidentifiable Cleveland Browns team who are desperately looking for their first playoff shot in some time, as well as Green Bay and Chicago beating each other black and blue in the NFC Central for a chance to stay alive in the NFC wild card discussion.

The late games should pack a punch just as hard as the early ones. New Orleans and Washington undoubtedly make an interesting pairing, with the Redskins taking their 4-game win streak against perhaps the hottest team in our 1992 Tecmo Bowl season. Bobby Hebert, leading the league in nearly every statistical category, takes on the highly-ranked Washington pass defense, including Brad Edwards and his 7 sacks and 3 interceptions. San Francisco takes advantage of the Saints' and Falcons' tougher match-ups in landing themselves the packed-for-the-postseason Los Angeles Rams. Pittsburgh should have no problems making it 6 in a row against the Colts, while the Raiders hope to make it a race in the AFC West with a win over the Broncos.

Monday's contest will highlight our final team to be featured in the 1992 Tecmo Bowl Season, the New England Patriots, when they play the New York Jets. Depending on what happens in Miami, the Jets could be playing for sole possession of the AFC East lead. It seems like the 5th week in a row they've played for that claim, but it finally looks like a reality when they touch down in the Nor'east to play a Patriots team with no real direction. Hugh Millen had us all fooled earlier this season by playing above himself, but now that he's not only landed back on earth but found himself halfway to China, the Patriots are no more than a high school JV team looking for a chance to play with the big boys. Though Browning Nagle and Co. can hardly be labeled as such, they are certainly looking for a chance to redeem themselves after a lackluster tie in their last featured game just a few weeks ago.

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AFC

 

NFC

Friday Night Football: Thanksgiving Hangover

Between feasting on tryptophan-laced fowl and watching helium-powered monsters take over New York City, you may have noticed some football games on television. And just like most of America, you may have been too overcome by the flooding of alcoholic beverages to really pay attention. Therefore, we at The Tecmo Bowl have decided to give thanks to your dedication to following our little corner of the blogosphere, and are offering an encore presentation to satiate any leftover feelings of guilt that you're trying to hide behind turkey sandwiches today.


Game One
Los Angeles Rams (5-5) at Detroit (2-8)

The Rams stumble into the Motor City on gimpy legs, losing four of their last five and falling a game behind the 49ers in the NFC West. They'll be welcomed by their hosts in the Lions, a team that hasn't taken a Thanksgiving Day game seriously since George Plimpton was nearly called upon to try and lose a tied game with the Green Bay Packers. The Lions don't have much to play for this season besides trying to keep Barry Sanders out of early retirement for another year, but they could seriously play spoilers to the Rams' once-promising season.

Quarter One

Recover: As in, "How will the Rams recover having an
offensive lineman run back a fumble against them?"

Rodney Peete does turkeys everywhere proud when he leads the Lions out to the field and then immediately leads them back out after three failed plays in a row. Jim Everett has a relatively more successful start, but a squash by Dennis Gibson on third down keeps the Rams out of field goal range. After the Rams' punt, the Lions go with a Barry-heavy offense, but apparently No.20 ate his Thanksgiving feast before the game and his plodding is punished with three straight stuffings to force another Detroit punt. Utility man Gaston Green fumbles the kick, however, and Eric Andolsek is forever linked to Detroit Thanksgiving lore when he scoops up the ball and runs it in for a score.

Detroit leads 7-0

Quarter Two
Playing from behind, Jim Everett starts throwing balls into the open air like cans of corn, and it's only a matter of time before Ray Crockett gobbles it up to give the ball back to Detroit. Sanders is the man again, using his legs to get all the way to the Detroit 9-yard line, but the Los Angeles defense holds up this time, absorbing Sanders' runs like pads of butter in mashed potatoes, and Eddie Murray is on for the short kick from 26.

Detroit leads 10-0

Gary must feel like the plate of olives at his team's
dinner table after this blunder

The Rams start from their own 6-yard line with just 1:14 left, but that doesn't stop Jim Everett from driving his team down the field. A pass to Cleveland Gary gets the Rams into field goal range with enough time left, but Gary's hands must have been covered in cranberry sauce, as he fumbles the ball over to Detroit who wind out the clock and go into halftime with the lead.

Halftime - Lions 10, Rams 0

Quarter Three
Los Angeles comes out of halftime inspired, with Everett completing 100% of his passes, including a 38-yard connection to Henry Ellard for the Rams' first score. One more drive like that, and the Lions may be cooked.

Detroit leads 10-7

After a positive Rams' drive, a poor Mike Lansford kick combined with a huge Mel Gray return gives the momentum back to Detroit. The Rams defense holds strong, however, and Eddie Murray is out for his second try of the game. However, his kick is from nearly twice as long as his first, and his wide right miss means there's a cream pie waiting to be introduced to his face on the sidelines.

This one had about as much of a chance as Murray not falling
on his ass after the kick

The Rams get their next drive going with the same pace as their last one, starting with a huge leaping grab by Curt Warner. However, facing 3rd and 19, it's the University of Georgia Bulldog, Cleveland Gary, that runs the ball 41 yards to paydirt and the Rams' first lead of the game.

Los Angeles leads 14-10

The third quarter draws to a close with the Rams defense swallowing up Detroit for another 3-and-out. The Lions may be needing someone to perform the Heimlich on them, as they're choking away this game like it's the turkey bone stuck in Grandpa's throat.

Quarter Four

He'd clutch the Turkey Leg Trophy just as hard that night

Cleveland's looking for his first Turkey Leg Award as his first play from scrimmage is a 28-yard run. The drive is capped with a huge Willie Anderson catch for the Rams' third consecutive touchdown, however, putting Gary's campaign on hold.

Los Angeles leads 21-10

The Lions needs to score on this drive to keep it a game, but they nearly give Los Angeles more points when Peete is sacked near the end zone. He responds brilliantly on the next play, however, with his first completion since the first quarter that gets Detroit to the 42-yard line. It's deja vu all over again from there, however, when the drive stalls. On 4th and 10, Peete overthrows the other wide receiver named Willie, Willie Green, and the Rams get the ball with enough time to either run out the clock or throw another touchdown pass to a wide open Willie Anderson in the end zone. They opt for the latter, sealing Anderson's Turkey Leg Award and another year of getting snubbed for Mr. Gary.

Final Score: Rams 28, Lions 10

The Rams strung Detroit along through the first half with their three turnovers, before unleashing the hounds of hell, aka Los Angeles, on them. It was another Thanksgiving thrashing of the Lions in their hometown, sealing yet another losing season for the Lions and for any of their fans trying to hold in that extra helping of candied yams. The Rams go back to L.A. still holding on to a sliver of hope in a division title chase with San Francisco and getting out of the doghouse temporarily with the win.

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Game Two

New York Giants (6-4) at Dallas (5-5)

It's an NFC East showdown that carries the pomp and circumstance of a Dallas Thanksgiving Day game mixed with the drama of a divisional rivalry. The Giants can take a huge edge over Dallas in their quest for the division crown, and get a leg up on Washington before the weekend. But you can bet that the Cowboys go down without a fight deep in the heart of Texas, at least not until after the New Kids on the Block get caught lip-syncing or the fireworks start Michael Jackson's hair on fire during the halftime show.

What can it be that makes Irvin jump that high?

Quarter One

The Giants are rewarded for their correct coin flip call with the ball to start the game. The Dallas defense shows up in a big way against New York, however, forcing them into a 3rd-and-24 situation. One play later, and Phil Simms has to call an early time out to figure out what the refs mean by 'fourth down'. He is told the wisely by his coaches that the Giants need to punt, which they do.

The Cowboys' drive is one filled with sacks of Troy Aikman and little-to-no gain runs by Emmitt Smith. So when Aikman finds Michael Irvin in the end zone for the first score of this contest, the Giants' 'D' can be forgiven for asking for a Presidential pardon.

Dallas leads 7-0

The quarter Meggetts to an end, as Dave drives the G-men down the field to answer the Dallas score.

Quarter Two

After Meggett carries the Giants on his back down the field, he is rewarded by getting to block for Stephen Baker who snags a Simms pass and runs down the field for a 25-yard score.

Score tied 7-7

Aikman can't luck his way past the Giants defense on his team's second drive, and the Cowboys are forced to punt. Unfortunately, Cowboys' punter Mike Saxon forgot to wear his throwback uniform, which karmically causes his punt to only travel for a net gain of about 14 yards.

One play after the punt, and Baker is walking in for his second touchdown after Simms tosses it over the yearning hands of Issiac Holt. It wouldn't be Tecmo at Thanksgiving if it didn't have Baker going the full 70 yards after Holt falls down, with no other defenders in sight.

Why players with amputated fingers shouldn't be on defense

New York leads 14-7

Dallas is stuffed near their own end zone after the kick, and with Aikman using up all three downs trying to avoid a safety, they don't get far and are forced to punt as the clock drains away to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-inspired Halftime Show.

Halftime - Giants 14, Cowboys 7

Quarter Three 

The Cowboys start off in a much more favorable spot, as James Dixon gets them into New York territory. The vaunted Giants 'D' comes up big once again, however, giving Smith no room to run or Aikman no room to flail his arms and scream. Needing a momentum shift, coach Jimmy sends Ken Willis out for the fifty-two yarder. He's wide right, the same direction Dallas fans are leaning as they break into their third box of Franzia.

Why you shouldn't eat dessert first

Simms answers to the Cowboys' broken drive with three straight flea-flickers, breaking the Thanksgiving flea-flicker record by three. When Mark Ingram is carted off the field after the third one, however, the Giants go conservative and give it to Ottis Anderson for his first score of the game.

New York leads 21-7

Aikman and his Cowboys are down, but not out. They show signs of life as the quarter comes to an end, converting three third-downs in a row into New York territory.

Quarter Four

As the quarters change over, so does Dallas' fortunes, as they can't convert their next set of downs. Willis is back out near the spot of his first indiscretion, and his haunted soul misses again, this time from fifty-three and wide left. 72-inch televisions all across Dallas are getting covered in Skoal as we write this.

Seen during this miss: Cowboys throw back to 1965,
during their 'purple and orange' phase

New York survives an Ottis Anderson fumble at the beginning of their next drive as they march down the field, but they can't score on their fourth consecutive possession and punt it away to Kelvin Martin, who gets stuffed at his own 9-yard line.

Aikman goes to the air, needing to score, but his desperation pass is somehow intercepted even though all eleven of the Giants are currently dogpiled on top of him.

Crude humor of the day: That's not a football, that's
Anderson making room for seconds! *rimshot*

From the 15-yard line, Anderson trots in untouched for his second touchdown of the game, putting this one to a humbling end for the Cowboys.

New York leads 28-7

Dallas gets the ball back and brings it to midfield with about 50 seconds left, but Lawrence Taylor hasn't had his dinner yet. Four straight Giants' blitzes are what close out this game, leaving behind a pretty tender Dallas O-line. Keep the turkey baster away from L.T., it looks like there's drool dripping off his facemask!

Final Score: Giants 28, Cowboys 7

There's not much to be thankful for in Dallas right now. The Cowboys fall to 5-6, which may be the death knell in this division, and their offense looked hapless despite a promising start to the game. The Giants are playing like Mr. Hyde to the Dr. Jekyll of earlier this season, rebounding nicely from their first loss in seven games to take over the division for a few days. It was a dominant game for New York, and if I don't see Phil Simms' boyish grin in the next few weeks, you can Color Me Badd (aka the halftime entertainment for next year).

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Looking for Looking Ahead? Don't worry, there'll be a special Saturday Edition out tomorrow. Now go take a shower, you're still sweating!