This insert will be available in all first-run copies bought from me, Butt Douglas, in person. This is posted here for those of you who've purchased the book online, either in physical form or e-book. Thank you again for your support.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for purchasing this copy of ‘The Book of Tecmo’ and allowing me to transfer the proceeds to charity. It truly was a labor of love.
But it was also a labor of folly.
I had all but given up on the project in the early Summer of 2013. In fact, I’d basically forgotten about it until Gannonball Run was officially announced in early January—that’s when everything changed.
Soon, I was facing a monumental task the likes of this story’s protagonist, QB Browns. I had 8k words typed, and knew I’d need more than 50k to complete the story I wanted to tell. So on January 18th, 2014, I went to work.
It was a scramble. I barely took time to read over what I’d written to get back into the groove, leading to perhaps more than a few continuity issues. But thanks to the patience of my wife and endless amounts of Caribou coffee, I was somehow able to miraculously finish the book, only able to write on the weekends, in 5 weeks. My own little TecMoWriMo (see: NaNoWriMo) as I called it.
Unfortunately, despite this accomplishment, I had actually hoped to finish earlier in order to give it the proper amounts of editing. This was a luxury I could not afford, however, in order to have printed copies ready for the Madison tournament.
Therefore, I ask you to please excuse all my little typos and grammatical brain farts. I hope to have these corrected in a 2nd edition for the generations of little Tecmoers to come along.
I also have to ask you to excuse a glaring mistake I made early on in the book, referencing the ‘Run 2’ code that the players use to find the secret loft of the hotel. It was originally planned to be ‘Run 4’ (hence the combination the players use of the ‘A’ button and ‘Down’ arrow) but was changed to ‘Run 2’ due to the overwhelming preference for that play. While I fixed that with a simple Find and Replace, I made the editorial miscue of not fixing the combination. My face is full of egg knowing that this error exists in a book meant for faithful Tecmoers. It will be corrected in future editions.
Not that I think I’m some Tecmo extraordinaire who can even successfully run that play…
Anyway, thank you again for your purchasing this work and supporting me in this weird task I gave myself. It does not go unnoticed. I did it for you, the person still playing this seemingly simple game over 20 years later, with a love and dedication that is deserving of a work such as this—something you can curl up with in between rousing games with your buddies or online, or to read to your children (not recommended) as they drift off to sleep, dreaming one day that they could be a Tecmo Champion.
Sincerely,
Butt Douglas/Erik Bergstrom
Showing posts with label Tecmo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tecmo. Show all posts
Friday, February 28, 2014
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Conference Championship Weekend
28 teams started, and now only 4 remain. Are they the best of the best? That's hard to say. Like a quiet rebel, many good teams have fallen before their time. The one thing that separates those teams from these four, however, is the one simple fact that they couldn't win in the big game. Today, we'll see one team that was on the outside looking in halfway through the season, and then railed off 9 wins in a row (including 2 in the postseason). Another never knew the meaning of calm, tussling with two other teams for a division crown until the very last week. There's a squad that's new to late January football, outside of their quarterback that was so close to a gold ring last year. And finally, a team that's always played the quiet character roles in the playoffs but never saw the fireworks and jet fighters in February. It's all going to be settled right here, right now, on Conference Championship Weekend.
AFC Championship
4 Buffalo (13-5) at 3 San Diego (12-6)
Quarter One
Sometimes, one gets the feeling for how a game's going to go even within the first minute or two. It could be the look in a player's eyes. It could be the electricity in the air. Or it could be Kenneth Davis returning your team's kick to your own 7-yard line, setting up a direct snap to Thurman Thomas for his first touchdown of the day.
Buffalo leads 7-0
The Chargers didn't get this far by making things easy on themselves, however. And that was never more evident than when, after two quick plays put them in scoring position, Stan Humphries lobbed up a flea-flicked pass into the end zone that's easy-'pickin's for Henry Jones. The Bills start with a little less-favorable field position at their own 20, but find it pretty easy to flip the field with Thurman Thomas and Andre Reed. James Lofton brings down a 15-yard pass to get back inside the red zone, the only place Thurman Thomas visits more than Mount Cavalry Baptist church. And just as Derek Schaul, the 1995 Illinois State Tecmo Champion, proclaimed all those many years ago, "Ain't no stoppin' me...Ain't no stoppin' Thurman T!"
Buffalo leads 14-0
Quarter Two
After a decent return, the Chargers finally get the gears turning behind Humphries and Anthony Miller, with Miller pulling down a 35-yard completion over the heads of two Buffalo defenders. Rod Bernstine gets his first called run of the game but hits a wall, leading to the team's previous rusher and current secret weapon, Marion Butts, grabbing a pass up the middle and running untouched into the end zone.
Buffalo leads 14-7
Buffalo's biggest offensive weapon so far this game, San Diego kicker John Carney, comes through again with a blooper kick, prompting another stellar Kenneth Davis return. It's all Thomas from there, with an 18-yard pass sandwiched by two long runs, including a 14-yard touchdown scamper that has nobody with Bolt helmets within 5 yards of him.
Buffalo leads 21-7
While the Bills are making it look easy, San Diego takes over fighting for every yard they can get. But Rod Bernstine didn't come all this way to drink his Gatorade for a small endorsement deal; he wants the whole prize package. Bernstine busts through the entire Bills' defensive line for 16 yards to cross midfield, followed up by two passes to 'Lightning' Rod that suddenly has the Buffalo end zone within sniffing distance. Bernstine falls backwards on first down, but just one play later he's back to upending defenders for a 7-yard charge up the middle to close the gap.
Buffalo leads 21-14
With just under a minute remaining in the half, Carney takes it easy with his kick, allowing the Bills a chance for one play at the San Diego 46-yard line. That's all the field Thurman needs, outracing the defenders and the clock for a wind-sucking score to put Buffalo up by 14 at the half.
Halftime - Bills 28, Chargers 14
Quarter Three
Grace is found in San Diego when the Chargers don't have to start the half behind John Carney. Instead, with Stan Humphries under center, San Diego goes on a drive that eats up an entire quarter and has them back within a touchdown after some more back-breaking runs from Bernstine and long Anthony Miller reverses, including the gutsy call on 3rd and goal from the 1 to have Miller carry the rock across the line.
Buffalo leads 28-21
Quarter Four
Though much can be said about San Diego's work ethic and heart in taking up a whole quarter to keep the explosive Buffalo offense off the field, much more can be said about that particular offense's capability to score at whim. Pete Metzalaars brings down a Jim Kelly pass on first down at the San Diego 13, and with 4 open receivers on the next play, Kelly chooses Carwell Gardner to carry the prize to extend their lead again.
Buffalo leads 35-21
After trying to replicate their methods from the third quarter, the Chargers finally realize that they don't get paid to wear Timex watches just for the endorsement deal and decide to go flea-flicker style to Anthony Miller. Humphries' pass is right on the clearly visible 'X', though only Miller apparently saw it as he's alone on the sideline and all the way into the end zone.
Buffalo leads 35-28
Playing catch-up has been fun for the Chargers, but with time running out they'll need to find a way to pull out at least 8 points from their gaudy navy and yellow jerseys in just two minutes to keep the glass slippers polished for Stan and crew. Though two minutes seems like hardly enough time to blink for San Diego, it's an eternity for Buffalo, and it's the Bills who score the next barrage of points. First, after another poor Carney kick that leads to Gardner taking advantage of the bullseye on Thomas for his second score...
Buffalo leads 42-28
...and then Kelly choosing to lob it up to a wide open Andre Reed instead of graciously taking a knee after Humphries' last pass of the season is intercepted.
Final Score: Bills 49, Chargers 28
The score indicates a Bills blowout, however outside the inexplicable late-second half touchdown run from Thomas and the even less inexplicable and unsportsmanlike touchdown pass to Reed with no time remaining, the Chargers were within a touchdown the entire game. Humphries will miss out on his second consecutive Tecmo Bowl appearance, while the Chargers, perhaps the best team in the first 3 quarters of the season for the AFC, will go home with the sour taste of Thurman Thomas' cleats in their mouths as Buffalo's 10th straight victim. 10 is a nice, round number, however it's the number 11 that remains the most important for Buffalo. Double digit wins in a row mean nothing if Buffalo can't bring home their first football championship since the merger. They've gone one step further than last year when they were a much better team. And though the Bills don't carry much sympathy with Tecmo fans, it can't be denied that the wicked stepmother of the AFC has now become the rag-wearing, pumpkin-riding princess. They were left for dead halfway through the season, and now they're in the Tecmo Bowl.
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NFC Championship
2 Atlanta (13-4) at 1 Philadelphia (13-4)
Quarter One
Like they have all season, the Falcons provide the firepower right off the bat, as Chris Miller spreads it out to his receivers, from Harper Lebel to Andre Rison, to have Atlanta on the board after running it in himself. The Eagles may have earned their title as best in the NFC heading into the playoffs, but Atlanta didn't contend and conquer the best division in football without making fools out of a few defenses.
Atlanta leads 7-0
Vai Sikahema takes his team on his back, keeping the trend of outstanding returns alive by breaking a tackle at his own 30 and then running untouched to the Atlanta 32-yard line. The favorable field position sets up for the most dynamic quarterback in the game to find Calvin Williams after faking a run.
Score tied 7-7
The first quarter of this NFC Championship comes to a close with the score tied, but Atlanta driving behind the arm of Miller, who even makes a receiver out of 'Sub-Par' Steve Broussard with a 49-yard completion.
Quarter Two
The Philadelphia defense, one of the hardest hitting in the game, stands their ground over two plays to keep the Falcons at bay at the 2-yard line. Miller's a hard guy to deny, however, and when his arm can't do the job, his legs find a way and he's in for his second rushing touchdown of the game.
Atlanta leads 14-7
While the Eagles are contending to keep it a game, Norm Johnson is contending for worst kickoff on the day against John Carney by botching one to the Eagles' 40-yard line, allowing for Sikahema to cross over to the Falcons' 43. Heath Sherman is the ball-carrier for a 35-yard run along the sidelines to the 8, though it's Cunningham, who's aura is so strong, that appears to dissolve any defenders in front of him to score. The rushing touchdowns by a quarterback margin has now reached a more stable -1 for the former Mr. Eagles.
Score tied 14-14
The Falcons have controlled the pace of the game for the most part to this point, but a few close calls have them treading dangerously along the Dan Marino line after Tony Smith nearly fumbles the kickoff and Miller is saved by the cement block hands of Eagles cornerback Otis Smith. Despite these myriad miscues, Atlanta manages to break their way down to the Philadelphia 15. Unfortunately, the inevitable was only delayed when Smith finally coughed the ball up and over to John Booty at the 7-yard line.
The long field ahead of him isn't long enough for Randall Cunningham to even the series to two-a-piece, with his 93-yard scamper as the half expires not only stunning the Atlanta fans in attendance, but completely switching the momentum over to the less-dirty but still slightly dingy birds to set up the second half.
Halftime - Eagles 21, Falcons 14
Quarter Three
Sikahema can't find his way into Falcon ground, though his run out from his own end zone to the 30-yard line is still quite commendable. Cunningham can't get anything going over the air, so he turns to his underrated ground force in Sherman and Keith Byars. The Heath-Keith tandem also struggles to move the chains, and the first punt in this Championship series is seen sailing into the second-tier dining porch.
Atlanta's defensive stand effectively yanked the carpet from beneath Philadelphia's cleats, though it was the 80-yard throw from Miller to Rison that effectively swung the momentum wheel back around to the carrion feasters.
Score tied 21-21
The Eagles begin again with decent field position, though for the second time in a row they're stalled when Cunningham's on-target throws are dropped by the receivers. On 3rd-and-10, a Jessie Tuggle sack is enough to push Philadelphia back far enough for the cameras to come out to another Jeff Feagles appearance.
Quarter Four
After two sacks of Miller push Atlanta to inside their own 5, Rison saves the day with a 23-yard completion to move the chains. Unfortunately, the air suddenly takes on a frosty chill when their next series is stalled due to the usually sure-handed Harper Lebel unable to bring down two on-target Miller throws in a row.
With time playing the twelfth man for Philadelphia, they get going on a drive that sees effective running from Sherman and nice, short passes to Williams and Fred Barnett. When suddenly faced with a 3rd down situation, however, it's the unsung hero, Pat Beach, making just his 3rd reception of the year to convert the first down and get Philadelphia within striking distance. Cunningham races for a couple more first downs, setting up the famous juke-and-jive throw to a wide open Barnett in the corner of the end zone to take the lead with just over a minute remaining.
Philadelphia leads 28-21
Though perhaps just 1:08 remains in Atlanta's season, there's nobody Coach Glanville would want under center than Chris Miller. After a huge Smith return to the 47, Miller calms the nerves of his offense just long enough to get them into a 4th and 21 situation with just 31 seconds remaining. The probable last play of Atlanta's tumultuous season has Miller throwing to perhaps the only player capable of calming the nerves of Falcons' fans, though he doesn't make it easy when his heel is nearly caught at the 1-yard line before high-stepping it into the end zone for an overtime-forcing score.
Score tied 28-28
Overtime
At this pace, the winner of the toss comes out with the clear path to victory. Perhaps that was the cause behind the unorthodox onside kick call from Atlanta after losing the toss, though they did come close to turning the game around with a recovery. Though Atlanta held the Eagles two drives in a row, it's the calm and collected play that Cunningham has exhibited all year that has him finding Barnett with the same play that killed Atlanta just a series ago that has Philadelphia flying into their very first Tecmo Bowl.
Final Score: Eagles 34, Falcons 28 (OT)
Some may argue that the best team in the NFC won't go on to represent their conference now in the Tecmo Bowl. However, Philadelphia's quiet dominance over their schedule, along with their shellacking of our Tecmo Bowl favorite in Dallas last week has the Eagles as a clear contender to take it all home. Atlanta won the hearts and eyes of many who had written them off at the season's beginning, though it's clear that this is a team that's just a few steps behind Philadelphia. After a start that would have killed many teams, the Eagles stood strong and came back, separating themselves from the vanquished Falcons with nothing else than a 93-yard scurry from the most dynamic quarterback in the game. Philadelphia takes quite a bit of their own dynamite into the Tecmo Bowl with the Bills in a game that's sure to see plenty of explosions even after the initial 4-hour opening ceremonies.
AFC Championship
4 Buffalo (13-5) at 3 San Diego (12-6)
Quarter One
Sometimes, one gets the feeling for how a game's going to go even within the first minute or two. It could be the look in a player's eyes. It could be the electricity in the air. Or it could be Kenneth Davis returning your team's kick to your own 7-yard line, setting up a direct snap to Thurman Thomas for his first touchdown of the day.
Buffalo leads 7-0
The Chargers didn't get this far by making things easy on themselves, however. And that was never more evident than when, after two quick plays put them in scoring position, Stan Humphries lobbed up a flea-flicked pass into the end zone that's easy-'pickin's for Henry Jones. The Bills start with a little less-favorable field position at their own 20, but find it pretty easy to flip the field with Thurman Thomas and Andre Reed. James Lofton brings down a 15-yard pass to get back inside the red zone, the only place Thurman Thomas visits more than Mount Cavalry Baptist church. And just as Derek Schaul, the 1995 Illinois State Tecmo Champion, proclaimed all those many years ago, "Ain't no stoppin' me...Ain't no stoppin' Thurman T!"Buffalo leads 14-0
Quarter Two
After a decent return, the Chargers finally get the gears turning behind Humphries and Anthony Miller, with Miller pulling down a 35-yard completion over the heads of two Buffalo defenders. Rod Bernstine gets his first called run of the game but hits a wall, leading to the team's previous rusher and current secret weapon, Marion Butts, grabbing a pass up the middle and running untouched into the end zone.
Buffalo leads 14-7
Buffalo's biggest offensive weapon so far this game, San Diego kicker John Carney, comes through again with a blooper kick, prompting another stellar Kenneth Davis return. It's all Thomas from there, with an 18-yard pass sandwiched by two long runs, including a 14-yard touchdown scamper that has nobody with Bolt helmets within 5 yards of him.Buffalo leads 21-7
While the Bills are making it look easy, San Diego takes over fighting for every yard they can get. But Rod Bernstine didn't come all this way to drink his Gatorade for a small endorsement deal; he wants the whole prize package. Bernstine busts through the entire Bills' defensive line for 16 yards to cross midfield, followed up by two passes to 'Lightning' Rod that suddenly has the Buffalo end zone within sniffing distance. Bernstine falls backwards on first down, but just one play later he's back to upending defenders for a 7-yard charge up the middle to close the gap.
Buffalo leads 21-14
With just under a minute remaining in the half, Carney takes it easy with his kick, allowing the Bills a chance for one play at the San Diego 46-yard line. That's all the field Thurman needs, outracing the defenders and the clock for a wind-sucking score to put Buffalo up by 14 at the half.
Halftime - Bills 28, Chargers 14
Quarter Three
Grace is found in San Diego when the Chargers don't have to start the half behind John Carney. Instead, with Stan Humphries under center, San Diego goes on a drive that eats up an entire quarter and has them back within a touchdown after some more back-breaking runs from Bernstine and long Anthony Miller reverses, including the gutsy call on 3rd and goal from the 1 to have Miller carry the rock across the line.
Buffalo leads 28-21
Quarter Four
Though much can be said about San Diego's work ethic and heart in taking up a whole quarter to keep the explosive Buffalo offense off the field, much more can be said about that particular offense's capability to score at whim. Pete Metzalaars brings down a Jim Kelly pass on first down at the San Diego 13, and with 4 open receivers on the next play, Kelly chooses Carwell Gardner to carry the prize to extend their lead again.
Buffalo leads 35-21
After trying to replicate their methods from the third quarter, the Chargers finally realize that they don't get paid to wear Timex watches just for the endorsement deal and decide to go flea-flicker style to Anthony Miller. Humphries' pass is right on the clearly visible 'X', though only Miller apparently saw it as he's alone on the sideline and all the way into the end zone.
Buffalo leads 35-28
Playing catch-up has been fun for the Chargers, but with time running out they'll need to find a way to pull out at least 8 points from their gaudy navy and yellow jerseys in just two minutes to keep the glass slippers polished for Stan and crew. Though two minutes seems like hardly enough time to blink for San Diego, it's an eternity for Buffalo, and it's the Bills who score the next barrage of points. First, after another poor Carney kick that leads to Gardner taking advantage of the bullseye on Thomas for his second score...
Buffalo leads 42-28
...and then Kelly choosing to lob it up to a wide open Andre Reed instead of graciously taking a knee after Humphries' last pass of the season is intercepted.
Final Score: Bills 49, Chargers 28
The score indicates a Bills blowout, however outside the inexplicable late-second half touchdown run from Thomas and the even less inexplicable and unsportsmanlike touchdown pass to Reed with no time remaining, the Chargers were within a touchdown the entire game. Humphries will miss out on his second consecutive Tecmo Bowl appearance, while the Chargers, perhaps the best team in the first 3 quarters of the season for the AFC, will go home with the sour taste of Thurman Thomas' cleats in their mouths as Buffalo's 10th straight victim. 10 is a nice, round number, however it's the number 11 that remains the most important for Buffalo. Double digit wins in a row mean nothing if Buffalo can't bring home their first football championship since the merger. They've gone one step further than last year when they were a much better team. And though the Bills don't carry much sympathy with Tecmo fans, it can't be denied that the wicked stepmother of the AFC has now become the rag-wearing, pumpkin-riding princess. They were left for dead halfway through the season, and now they're in the Tecmo Bowl.
***************************************************************************************
NFC Championship
2 Atlanta (13-4) at 1 Philadelphia (13-4)
Quarter OneLike they have all season, the Falcons provide the firepower right off the bat, as Chris Miller spreads it out to his receivers, from Harper Lebel to Andre Rison, to have Atlanta on the board after running it in himself. The Eagles may have earned their title as best in the NFC heading into the playoffs, but Atlanta didn't contend and conquer the best division in football without making fools out of a few defenses.
Atlanta leads 7-0
Vai Sikahema takes his team on his back, keeping the trend of outstanding returns alive by breaking a tackle at his own 30 and then running untouched to the Atlanta 32-yard line. The favorable field position sets up for the most dynamic quarterback in the game to find Calvin Williams after faking a run.
Score tied 7-7
The first quarter of this NFC Championship comes to a close with the score tied, but Atlanta driving behind the arm of Miller, who even makes a receiver out of 'Sub-Par' Steve Broussard with a 49-yard completion.
Quarter TwoThe Philadelphia defense, one of the hardest hitting in the game, stands their ground over two plays to keep the Falcons at bay at the 2-yard line. Miller's a hard guy to deny, however, and when his arm can't do the job, his legs find a way and he's in for his second rushing touchdown of the game.
Atlanta leads 14-7
While the Eagles are contending to keep it a game, Norm Johnson is contending for worst kickoff on the day against John Carney by botching one to the Eagles' 40-yard line, allowing for Sikahema to cross over to the Falcons' 43. Heath Sherman is the ball-carrier for a 35-yard run along the sidelines to the 8, though it's Cunningham, who's aura is so strong, that appears to dissolve any defenders in front of him to score. The rushing touchdowns by a quarterback margin has now reached a more stable -1 for the former Mr. Eagles.
Score tied 14-14
The Falcons have controlled the pace of the game for the most part to this point, but a few close calls have them treading dangerously along the Dan Marino line after Tony Smith nearly fumbles the kickoff and Miller is saved by the cement block hands of Eagles cornerback Otis Smith. Despite these myriad miscues, Atlanta manages to break their way down to the Philadelphia 15. Unfortunately, the inevitable was only delayed when Smith finally coughed the ball up and over to John Booty at the 7-yard line.The long field ahead of him isn't long enough for Randall Cunningham to even the series to two-a-piece, with his 93-yard scamper as the half expires not only stunning the Atlanta fans in attendance, but completely switching the momentum over to the less-dirty but still slightly dingy birds to set up the second half.
Halftime - Eagles 21, Falcons 14
Quarter Three
Sikahema can't find his way into Falcon ground, though his run out from his own end zone to the 30-yard line is still quite commendable. Cunningham can't get anything going over the air, so he turns to his underrated ground force in Sherman and Keith Byars. The Heath-Keith tandem also struggles to move the chains, and the first punt in this Championship series is seen sailing into the second-tier dining porch.
Atlanta's defensive stand effectively yanked the carpet from beneath Philadelphia's cleats, though it was the 80-yard throw from Miller to Rison that effectively swung the momentum wheel back around to the carrion feasters.
Score tied 21-21
The Eagles begin again with decent field position, though for the second time in a row they're stalled when Cunningham's on-target throws are dropped by the receivers. On 3rd-and-10, a Jessie Tuggle sack is enough to push Philadelphia back far enough for the cameras to come out to another Jeff Feagles appearance.Quarter Four
After two sacks of Miller push Atlanta to inside their own 5, Rison saves the day with a 23-yard completion to move the chains. Unfortunately, the air suddenly takes on a frosty chill when their next series is stalled due to the usually sure-handed Harper Lebel unable to bring down two on-target Miller throws in a row.
With time playing the twelfth man for Philadelphia, they get going on a drive that sees effective running from Sherman and nice, short passes to Williams and Fred Barnett. When suddenly faced with a 3rd down situation, however, it's the unsung hero, Pat Beach, making just his 3rd reception of the year to convert the first down and get Philadelphia within striking distance. Cunningham races for a couple more first downs, setting up the famous juke-and-jive throw to a wide open Barnett in the corner of the end zone to take the lead with just over a minute remaining.Philadelphia leads 28-21
Though perhaps just 1:08 remains in Atlanta's season, there's nobody Coach Glanville would want under center than Chris Miller. After a huge Smith return to the 47, Miller calms the nerves of his offense just long enough to get them into a 4th and 21 situation with just 31 seconds remaining. The probable last play of Atlanta's tumultuous season has Miller throwing to perhaps the only player capable of calming the nerves of Falcons' fans, though he doesn't make it easy when his heel is nearly caught at the 1-yard line before high-stepping it into the end zone for an overtime-forcing score.
Score tied 28-28
Overtime
At this pace, the winner of the toss comes out with the clear path to victory. Perhaps that was the cause behind the unorthodox onside kick call from Atlanta after losing the toss, though they did come close to turning the game around with a recovery. Though Atlanta held the Eagles two drives in a row, it's the calm and collected play that Cunningham has exhibited all year that has him finding Barnett with the same play that killed Atlanta just a series ago that has Philadelphia flying into their very first Tecmo Bowl.
Final Score: Eagles 34, Falcons 28 (OT)
Some may argue that the best team in the NFC won't go on to represent their conference now in the Tecmo Bowl. However, Philadelphia's quiet dominance over their schedule, along with their shellacking of our Tecmo Bowl favorite in Dallas last week has the Eagles as a clear contender to take it all home. Atlanta won the hearts and eyes of many who had written them off at the season's beginning, though it's clear that this is a team that's just a few steps behind Philadelphia. After a start that would have killed many teams, the Eagles stood strong and came back, separating themselves from the vanquished Falcons with nothing else than a 93-yard scurry from the most dynamic quarterback in the game. Philadelphia takes quite a bit of their own dynamite into the Tecmo Bowl with the Bills in a game that's sure to see plenty of explosions even after the initial 4-hour opening ceremonies.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Divisional Playoffs: Quadruple Header, II
With our last quadruple header such an unmitigated success, we thought we'd go with round 2 and bring you our next slate of 4 games in the Tecmo 1992 playoffs. Last week, we watched with either unbridled excitement or suds-drowning defeat as the Bills, Chargers, 49ers and Cowboys all advanced to fight again this weekend. Meanwhile, the teams that hit the exit ramp (Steelers, Jets, Saints and Bears) all provided their share of excitement during the season but were ultimately not ready to carry the heavy burden of being a Tecmo Bowl-worthy team. We'll cull our field to the final four today, and though we'll undoubtedly make some memories along the way, those memories will only last as long as the next game is played. Who will survive to their respective conference's championship next weekend? Let's get to our team on the ground.
4 Buffalo Bills (12-5) at 2 Houston Oilers (10-6)
The Bills not only entered this game hot off the heels of their eight consecutive win, but also with a bit of a chip on their shoulders. After streaking into and through the playoffs last year, they were effectively bounced out by the Oilers en route to their Tecmo Bowl Championship. Thurman Thomas' late-season injury hurt his MVP chances, however his return last week has immensely helped his team's chances in the Championship. They'll see what their chances are against a Houston team with a reputation of a sleeping monster.
Much like last week, the Bills ran out to a quick start behind Jim Kelly's unpredictable arm and Thurman Thomas grinding the grass. Unlike last week, they wouldn't bait the Oilers into building back their hopes. The defending champions headed into halftime with a goose egg on the scoreboard, and their fortunes wouldn't change outside of a garbage time touchdown.
Buffalo heads into their second consecutive Conference Championship, though this time on the advantage of a hot streak unseen in any other blogged Tecmo season. With a back that runs 100+ yards and a surprising defense that held the potent Houston team to under 200 yards, this particular Buffalo Tecmo team has destiny on their side.
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4 San Francisco 49ers (11-6) at 2 Atlanta Falcons (12-4)
Last year, this would have been a glamorous match-up for the 49ers, another walk-over on their way to a sure-fire championship. It's a new season, however, one that saw Atlanta put the screws to their divisional big brothers on two occasions. Due to the strength of the Wild NFC West, the Niners were threatened with the foreign concept of being on the outside looking in come postseason time. Thanks to a series of fortunate events, San Francisco squeaked in just in time to bounce out the Saints, whose apparent fatigue from pretending all season long got the best of them. Atlanta is not New Orleans, however, taking over the West in the last quarter of the season. Now it's just a matter of whether or not momentum will be their enemy.
Momentum found a friend in Jerry Rice, who took a wide open pass in stride to score on the opening play of the game. Normally a tempo-setting play for the 49ers, it was not to be as San Francisco soon found themselves victim to the arm of Chris Miller. The unsung hero of the dirty birds found weapons all over the field, from football card favorite Andre Rison to the humble Harper Lebel. San Francisco kept it close to halftime, but with the ball being kicked to Atlanta at the beginning of the third quarter, it was going to be a difficult feat to play catch-up.
The 49ers brought the margin to 3 on three separate occasions, however they couldn't take advantage of the few mistakes Atlanta afforded them. Only ahead by three, Miller was driving Atlanta down for another touchdown, though a costly interception led to Young being saddled with the chance to drive his team to a win. A fumble by Mike Sherrard in the 49ers' red zone, however, would turn out to be the microcosm of their entire day.
And so the Falcons stay undefeated against San Francisco this season, and the Niners go home victims of their second sudden and crushing divisional loss in a row.
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3 San Diego (11-6) at 1 Miami (11-4-1)
Miami took the Number 1 seed in one of the weakest conferences in memory, though it wasn't by sneaking in any back doors. The Dolphins finished the season ranked first in the power rankings after railing off 5 wins in their last 6 games. San Diego, another division champion, is the opposite of everything Miami represents, dropping 4 of their last 5 while seemingly attempting to give up a division they all-but clinched halfway through the season. The Chargers advanced last week, but didn't come off any more intimidating after winning behind the shaky leg of their kicker in overtime.
The Dolphins started the game off pretty hot, with Bobby Humphrey coming off the IR to carry his team's opening kickoff to the opponent's 23-yard line. Quarterback Dan Marino looked as efficient as ever, threading the needle to a covered Mark Duper to go up by a quick score. Unlike last week, however, San Diego responded in turn with an 80-yard flea flicker from Stan Humphries to Anthony Miller. The two teams entered halftime knotted up at 10, but by then it was clear which team had control over the game.
Starting in the 3rd quarter, it was all San Diego behind the Stan Humphries show. Postseason darling a year ago, Humphries finally showed the type of leadership to lead another Cinderella team deep into the postseason with two long bombs to Nate Lewis to lock up a Championship spot next week in the hostile Miami territory.
Though the Chargers didn't leave much to get excited about toward the end of the season, they've appeared to start rallying behind the man that fell a failed onside kick short of a Tecmo Bowl Championship last season. This year, he's not only got the advantage of capable receivers but also the unpredictable legs of Rod Bernstine, secret weapon in Marion Butts, and a silent but deadly defense that not only picked one of the league's lowest interception-throwers 3 times, but also held a dominant offense to just 96 total yards.
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6 Dallas Cowboys (11-6) at 1 Philadelphia Eagles (12-4)
These two teams know each other well, and though the Eagles finished out a bit hotter than the Cowboys it was a fair toss-up as to who would come out the victors in this contest. Having split the season series, the tiebreaker arose here with a win-or-go-home mentality all over this mother. Dallas beat up on Chicago pretty well last weekend behind their multidimensional offense, though the Philadelphia offense they would face posed a few more difficulties than the Moles of the Midway.
The Cowboys got a taste of their enemy early after going three-and-out to open the game, followed by an offensive attack led by cast-off back Herschel Walker. Perhaps a bit peeved after coming up 2 yards short of a Tecmo Bowl appearance with the Vikings last season, Walker walked, ran and caught all over the Dallas defense, putting his team up quickly. By halftime, the Eagles were up by 12 behind not only Walker's prowess but the effectiveness of their special teams and defense, who scored a safety of Troy Aikman.
Philadelphia's dominance continued into the second half, despite losing Walker to injury. With a chance to let up, the Eagles continued to pour it on to perhaps send a message to the waiting Falcons. We predicted this match-up for the NFC Championship with slightly different results, though we couldn't be more excited for Conference Championship weekend.
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4 Buffalo Bills (12-5) at 2 Houston Oilers (10-6)
The Bills not only entered this game hot off the heels of their eight consecutive win, but also with a bit of a chip on their shoulders. After streaking into and through the playoffs last year, they were effectively bounced out by the Oilers en route to their Tecmo Bowl Championship. Thurman Thomas' late-season injury hurt his MVP chances, however his return last week has immensely helped his team's chances in the Championship. They'll see what their chances are against a Houston team with a reputation of a sleeping monster.
Much like last week, the Bills ran out to a quick start behind Jim Kelly's unpredictable arm and Thurman Thomas grinding the grass. Unlike last week, they wouldn't bait the Oilers into building back their hopes. The defending champions headed into halftime with a goose egg on the scoreboard, and their fortunes wouldn't change outside of a garbage time touchdown.Buffalo heads into their second consecutive Conference Championship, though this time on the advantage of a hot streak unseen in any other blogged Tecmo season. With a back that runs 100+ yards and a surprising defense that held the potent Houston team to under 200 yards, this particular Buffalo Tecmo team has destiny on their side.
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4 San Francisco 49ers (11-6) at 2 Atlanta Falcons (12-4)
Last year, this would have been a glamorous match-up for the 49ers, another walk-over on their way to a sure-fire championship. It's a new season, however, one that saw Atlanta put the screws to their divisional big brothers on two occasions. Due to the strength of the Wild NFC West, the Niners were threatened with the foreign concept of being on the outside looking in come postseason time. Thanks to a series of fortunate events, San Francisco squeaked in just in time to bounce out the Saints, whose apparent fatigue from pretending all season long got the best of them. Atlanta is not New Orleans, however, taking over the West in the last quarter of the season. Now it's just a matter of whether or not momentum will be their enemy.Momentum found a friend in Jerry Rice, who took a wide open pass in stride to score on the opening play of the game. Normally a tempo-setting play for the 49ers, it was not to be as San Francisco soon found themselves victim to the arm of Chris Miller. The unsung hero of the dirty birds found weapons all over the field, from football card favorite Andre Rison to the humble Harper Lebel. San Francisco kept it close to halftime, but with the ball being kicked to Atlanta at the beginning of the third quarter, it was going to be a difficult feat to play catch-up.
The 49ers brought the margin to 3 on three separate occasions, however they couldn't take advantage of the few mistakes Atlanta afforded them. Only ahead by three, Miller was driving Atlanta down for another touchdown, though a costly interception led to Young being saddled with the chance to drive his team to a win. A fumble by Mike Sherrard in the 49ers' red zone, however, would turn out to be the microcosm of their entire day.
And so the Falcons stay undefeated against San Francisco this season, and the Niners go home victims of their second sudden and crushing divisional loss in a row.
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3 San Diego (11-6) at 1 Miami (11-4-1)
Miami took the Number 1 seed in one of the weakest conferences in memory, though it wasn't by sneaking in any back doors. The Dolphins finished the season ranked first in the power rankings after railing off 5 wins in their last 6 games. San Diego, another division champion, is the opposite of everything Miami represents, dropping 4 of their last 5 while seemingly attempting to give up a division they all-but clinched halfway through the season. The Chargers advanced last week, but didn't come off any more intimidating after winning behind the shaky leg of their kicker in overtime.
The Dolphins started the game off pretty hot, with Bobby Humphrey coming off the IR to carry his team's opening kickoff to the opponent's 23-yard line. Quarterback Dan Marino looked as efficient as ever, threading the needle to a covered Mark Duper to go up by a quick score. Unlike last week, however, San Diego responded in turn with an 80-yard flea flicker from Stan Humphries to Anthony Miller. The two teams entered halftime knotted up at 10, but by then it was clear which team had control over the game.Starting in the 3rd quarter, it was all San Diego behind the Stan Humphries show. Postseason darling a year ago, Humphries finally showed the type of leadership to lead another Cinderella team deep into the postseason with two long bombs to Nate Lewis to lock up a Championship spot next week in the hostile Miami territory.
Though the Chargers didn't leave much to get excited about toward the end of the season, they've appeared to start rallying behind the man that fell a failed onside kick short of a Tecmo Bowl Championship last season. This year, he's not only got the advantage of capable receivers but also the unpredictable legs of Rod Bernstine, secret weapon in Marion Butts, and a silent but deadly defense that not only picked one of the league's lowest interception-throwers 3 times, but also held a dominant offense to just 96 total yards.
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6 Dallas Cowboys (11-6) at 1 Philadelphia Eagles (12-4)
These two teams know each other well, and though the Eagles finished out a bit hotter than the Cowboys it was a fair toss-up as to who would come out the victors in this contest. Having split the season series, the tiebreaker arose here with a win-or-go-home mentality all over this mother. Dallas beat up on Chicago pretty well last weekend behind their multidimensional offense, though the Philadelphia offense they would face posed a few more difficulties than the Moles of the Midway.
The Cowboys got a taste of their enemy early after going three-and-out to open the game, followed by an offensive attack led by cast-off back Herschel Walker. Perhaps a bit peeved after coming up 2 yards short of a Tecmo Bowl appearance with the Vikings last season, Walker walked, ran and caught all over the Dallas defense, putting his team up quickly. By halftime, the Eagles were up by 12 behind not only Walker's prowess but the effectiveness of their special teams and defense, who scored a safety of Troy Aikman.Philadelphia's dominance continued into the second half, despite losing Walker to injury. With a chance to let up, the Eagles continued to pour it on to perhaps send a message to the waiting Falcons. We predicted this match-up for the NFC Championship with slightly different results, though we couldn't be more excited for Conference Championship weekend.
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Sunday, January 6, 2013
Wild Card Weekend: Quadruple Header
For the first time in The Tecmo Bowl's history 4 games will be covered in one day, once again highlighting your faithful writers' dedication to this great and selfless endeavor. Eight teams will collide in an orgy of Tecmo not seen since last Saturday night in your best friend's neighbor's basement. The results will still be the same; empty pizza boxes, drained beer cans and broken hearts as we'll bid farewell to 4 teams all in one fell swoop. As with most wild card showdowns, there are a few intriguing match-ups containing teams that fought tooth and nail to get here. Unfortunately for those teams, the fumes they're currently riding on are running clearer and clearer with every drive. Will teams like the Steelers and Jets survive into their divisional rounds? Can the Saints and Cowboys regain their early season magic before it's too late? Let's rip this band-aid off and find out.
5 Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7) at 4 Buffalo Bills (11-5)
The Bills have been the hottest team in Tecmo, railing off 7 wins to end the season. Perhaps what's been more astonishing is the fact that they've won the last few during that streak without Top-3 rusher Thurman Thomas. Yet now, much to Pittsburgh's soot-filled dismay, Thomas makes his triumphant return just in time to push his team over the threshhold.
Though the return of Thomas caused a few prickly feelings for Coach Cowher and his team, they didn't get here without having a tough defense. Unfortunately, through 3 quarters of play, that defense was apparently lost with the luggage as Thomas ran roughshod over the field. By the time the fourth quarter began, Thomas already had over 100 yards and 3 touchdowns. Pittsburgh, meanwhile, had a safety and just one converted field goal out of two tries from Gary Anderson. But perhaps the biggest headline coming out of the first few periods of play was the fact that Barry Foster, the league's rushing champion, had just one carry for 12 yards.
The 4th quarter told quite a different story, beginning with a 75-yard high-stepper from Foster. A defensive stop later, and O'Donnell found a few other weapons in Dwight Stone and Jeff Graham, the latter of which catching an open pass on the sidelines for a touchdown. A Darren Perry interception of Kelly kept the momentum with Pittsburgh and in less than a minute, Foster was carrying the ball back into the end zone from 30 yards out. While the Tecmo gods seemed to turn their favor towards the men in black and yellow, even they can't control the sands of time, which became Pittsburgh's greatest enemy.
Though blame can be placed anywhere from Gary Anderson's missed field goal being the difference to Neil O'Donnell's costly interception in the red zone during their first drive, we really can't look past the Foster factor. Racking up nearly 150 yards in one quarter is a terrific feat, however it will now become more mootier a point than another inevitable Buffalo championship.
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5 New Orleans Saints (10-6) at 4 San Francisco 49ers (10-6)
The 49ers stole a 4-seed from the Saints during the final week of the season, and now it may be the deciding factor in who walks away the victor and who leaves with a Bayou-sized bullet hole in their chests. Bobby Hebert was godly during the first half of the season, though the bandwagon could only hold so many of the converted before flipping over in a violent mess. The Saints' futility during the second half of the season is well-documented, though San Francisco would have no qualms about adding another chapter in how they defeated their crowned divisional rivals three times in one season.
Tom Rathman returned to the fray, though unlike the return of another quality back, he couldn't convert on many of his opportunities near the goal line, keeping this one close for a while. The real question was whether or not Hebert could come out of his funk just in time for some playoff magic, though the beads stopped raining some time midway through the second quarter when the Ragin' Cajun took a wacky sacky and took a stinger to his finger. There wasn't much to know about his back-up Mike Buck, other than his passes looking like something on a Lucky Charms cereal box, yet he was able to drive the Saints down for their first score. Unfortunately, just before the half San Francisco would score twice unanswered behind two Mike Sherrard completions to put them up 24-7.
The Mike Buck saga would be delayed until the fourth quarter, though the Saints bore some credit for keeping the streaking 49ers silent and picking up a special teams touchdown with a fumble recovery from Tommy Barnhardt at the end of the third.
Down by 10 in the 4th, the Saints hearkened back to the same angels that led Washington over San Francisco in last year's divisional playoffs. Defensive stops alongside miraculous plays from Eric Martin and Craig Heyward nearly recited it play for play, leading to an obvious yet still chest-collapsing final heave from Buck that went over Martin's head by 15 yards.
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6 New York Jets (8-7-1) at 3 San Diego Chargers (10-6)
The Jets came into this contest ranked the lowest of the playoff field, however a well-fought win over the Saints in Week 17 mixed with San Diego's putrid fall from best in the AFC to lowest common denominator suddenly swings this contest in Gang Green's favor. Looking for a wind of change, San Diego came out to the field wearing some classy yellow and blue throwbacks, which lasted about halfway through the second quarter when the Chargers suddenly found themselves down 10-0 despite Browning Nagle not having completed a pass.
Just when the Jets seemed to have this unwatchable mess in their clasps, however, Humphries took his team down the field and capped it off with a touchdown connection to Nate Lewis right before halftime. The momentum carried over into the second half, with Humphries taking advantage of a fatigued Jets defense and scoring on a pass to Marion Butts up the middle to take the lead. Nagle, putting on his boyish game face, completed his first pass of the game just before the fourth quarter, subliminally swinging this game back over to the Jets for the final period of play.
After a sudden infusion of ability, Nagle started looking like a playoff quarterback by threading his passes through the San Diego defense. When his efforts stalled, the Jets went back to the Baxter Factor that made them a success throughout the season, capping off a surgical drive that gave New York the lead. Humphries wasn't made from mud yesterday, however, and was able to channel his own heroics from last season on a 4th-and-25 from his own 18. With a stop, the Jets would ice the game. Unfortunately, the Showboat from Shreveport hit Nate Lewis in stride for a 45-yard connection. Having missed from 39 and 45 earlier, John Carney trotted out and kicked his team into overtime from 55 yards out under the greatest pressure of his life.
A few plays later, Carney brought out his hot foot from 43 and struck it down the middle, graciously ending this stinkbomb.
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6 Dallas Cowboys (10-6) at 3 Chicago Bears (11-5)
Chicago survived to play another day on the strength of their 40-21 beatdown in Week 17 of the very team they'll meet today. The Bears won on all fronts; outstanding special teams, a suffocating defense and the undeniable chemistry between Jim Harbaugh and Tom Waddle. Dallas was certainly caught off guard, setting their sights on a possible division title and winding up barely clinging to a 6-seed. Tonight, they'll surely play with some pissed-off pizzazz as they get the rare treat of exacting vengeance on the team that embarrassed them just 7 nights ago.
Dallas spent exactly 3 minutes trailing Chicago before unleashing Emmitt Smith, held to just under 20 yards a week ago and denied the rushing title, to run downfield. Chicago kept up for the most part, tying Dallas on two occasions behind the bruising running of Brad Muster and Harbaugh's accurate throws. With the opportunity to head into halftime no worse for the wear, Chicago went out for a junk play just 8 seconds before halftime and allowed a 67-yard run by Smith, ultimately breaking their backs and shattering any momentum that they began six quarters prior.
A week ago, Mike Singletary had Troy Aikman looking like a raccoon on the highway behind 4 sacks, including one safety. On this blustery Sunday, Singletary's absence was more noticeable than the sauerkraut in Coach Ditka's mustache as Chicago gave up multiple third-down stops, including a 3rd-and-25 that saw the Bears fall over behind Emmitt Smith's 30 yard run to put Dallas up by 2 scores. Though Chicago made it interesting with the contractual Tom Waddle touchdown and a blistering run from Muster that saw him crash through three defenders at the goal line, they just couldn't keep up with the blazing soles of Emmitt Smith and heat-seeking missiles from Troy Aikman.
Chicago packs up a rather promising season the way they began; victims of their own delusional grandeur. Dallas leaves as the only lower-seed to advance, their targets set on Number-1 seeded Philadelphia.
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5 Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7) at 4 Buffalo Bills (11-5)
Though the return of Thomas caused a few prickly feelings for Coach Cowher and his team, they didn't get here without having a tough defense. Unfortunately, through 3 quarters of play, that defense was apparently lost with the luggage as Thomas ran roughshod over the field. By the time the fourth quarter began, Thomas already had over 100 yards and 3 touchdowns. Pittsburgh, meanwhile, had a safety and just one converted field goal out of two tries from Gary Anderson. But perhaps the biggest headline coming out of the first few periods of play was the fact that Barry Foster, the league's rushing champion, had just one carry for 12 yards.
The 4th quarter told quite a different story, beginning with a 75-yard high-stepper from Foster. A defensive stop later, and O'Donnell found a few other weapons in Dwight Stone and Jeff Graham, the latter of which catching an open pass on the sidelines for a touchdown. A Darren Perry interception of Kelly kept the momentum with Pittsburgh and in less than a minute, Foster was carrying the ball back into the end zone from 30 yards out. While the Tecmo gods seemed to turn their favor towards the men in black and yellow, even they can't control the sands of time, which became Pittsburgh's greatest enemy.Though blame can be placed anywhere from Gary Anderson's missed field goal being the difference to Neil O'Donnell's costly interception in the red zone during their first drive, we really can't look past the Foster factor. Racking up nearly 150 yards in one quarter is a terrific feat, however it will now become more mootier a point than another inevitable Buffalo championship.
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5 New Orleans Saints (10-6) at 4 San Francisco 49ers (10-6)
The 49ers stole a 4-seed from the Saints during the final week of the season, and now it may be the deciding factor in who walks away the victor and who leaves with a Bayou-sized bullet hole in their chests. Bobby Hebert was godly during the first half of the season, though the bandwagon could only hold so many of the converted before flipping over in a violent mess. The Saints' futility during the second half of the season is well-documented, though San Francisco would have no qualms about adding another chapter in how they defeated their crowned divisional rivals three times in one season.
Tom Rathman returned to the fray, though unlike the return of another quality back, he couldn't convert on many of his opportunities near the goal line, keeping this one close for a while. The real question was whether or not Hebert could come out of his funk just in time for some playoff magic, though the beads stopped raining some time midway through the second quarter when the Ragin' Cajun took a wacky sacky and took a stinger to his finger. There wasn't much to know about his back-up Mike Buck, other than his passes looking like something on a Lucky Charms cereal box, yet he was able to drive the Saints down for their first score. Unfortunately, just before the half San Francisco would score twice unanswered behind two Mike Sherrard completions to put them up 24-7.The Mike Buck saga would be delayed until the fourth quarter, though the Saints bore some credit for keeping the streaking 49ers silent and picking up a special teams touchdown with a fumble recovery from Tommy Barnhardt at the end of the third.
Down by 10 in the 4th, the Saints hearkened back to the same angels that led Washington over San Francisco in last year's divisional playoffs. Defensive stops alongside miraculous plays from Eric Martin and Craig Heyward nearly recited it play for play, leading to an obvious yet still chest-collapsing final heave from Buck that went over Martin's head by 15 yards.
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6 New York Jets (8-7-1) at 3 San Diego Chargers (10-6)
The Jets came into this contest ranked the lowest of the playoff field, however a well-fought win over the Saints in Week 17 mixed with San Diego's putrid fall from best in the AFC to lowest common denominator suddenly swings this contest in Gang Green's favor. Looking for a wind of change, San Diego came out to the field wearing some classy yellow and blue throwbacks, which lasted about halfway through the second quarter when the Chargers suddenly found themselves down 10-0 despite Browning Nagle not having completed a pass.Just when the Jets seemed to have this unwatchable mess in their clasps, however, Humphries took his team down the field and capped it off with a touchdown connection to Nate Lewis right before halftime. The momentum carried over into the second half, with Humphries taking advantage of a fatigued Jets defense and scoring on a pass to Marion Butts up the middle to take the lead. Nagle, putting on his boyish game face, completed his first pass of the game just before the fourth quarter, subliminally swinging this game back over to the Jets for the final period of play.
After a sudden infusion of ability, Nagle started looking like a playoff quarterback by threading his passes through the San Diego defense. When his efforts stalled, the Jets went back to the Baxter Factor that made them a success throughout the season, capping off a surgical drive that gave New York the lead. Humphries wasn't made from mud yesterday, however, and was able to channel his own heroics from last season on a 4th-and-25 from his own 18. With a stop, the Jets would ice the game. Unfortunately, the Showboat from Shreveport hit Nate Lewis in stride for a 45-yard connection. Having missed from 39 and 45 earlier, John Carney trotted out and kicked his team into overtime from 55 yards out under the greatest pressure of his life.
A few plays later, Carney brought out his hot foot from 43 and struck it down the middle, graciously ending this stinkbomb.
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6 Dallas Cowboys (10-6) at 3 Chicago Bears (11-5)
Chicago survived to play another day on the strength of their 40-21 beatdown in Week 17 of the very team they'll meet today. The Bears won on all fronts; outstanding special teams, a suffocating defense and the undeniable chemistry between Jim Harbaugh and Tom Waddle. Dallas was certainly caught off guard, setting their sights on a possible division title and winding up barely clinging to a 6-seed. Tonight, they'll surely play with some pissed-off pizzazz as they get the rare treat of exacting vengeance on the team that embarrassed them just 7 nights ago.Dallas spent exactly 3 minutes trailing Chicago before unleashing Emmitt Smith, held to just under 20 yards a week ago and denied the rushing title, to run downfield. Chicago kept up for the most part, tying Dallas on two occasions behind the bruising running of Brad Muster and Harbaugh's accurate throws. With the opportunity to head into halftime no worse for the wear, Chicago went out for a junk play just 8 seconds before halftime and allowed a 67-yard run by Smith, ultimately breaking their backs and shattering any momentum that they began six quarters prior.
A week ago, Mike Singletary had Troy Aikman looking like a raccoon on the highway behind 4 sacks, including one safety. On this blustery Sunday, Singletary's absence was more noticeable than the sauerkraut in Coach Ditka's mustache as Chicago gave up multiple third-down stops, including a 3rd-and-25 that saw the Bears fall over behind Emmitt Smith's 30 yard run to put Dallas up by 2 scores. Though Chicago made it interesting with the contractual Tom Waddle touchdown and a blistering run from Muster that saw him crash through three defenders at the goal line, they just couldn't keep up with the blazing soles of Emmitt Smith and heat-seeking missiles from Troy Aikman.Chicago packs up a rather promising season the way they began; victims of their own delusional grandeur. Dallas leaves as the only lower-seed to advance, their targets set on Number-1 seeded Philadelphia.
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Saturday, January 5, 2013
Looking Ahead (and Behind): Wild Card Weekend
In a season where heroes were made about as frequently as children in Boomer Esiason's hotel room, we come to a sudden and final closure. The history books still remain un-inked, however, with 12 teams still gunning for the ultimate goal of being the best algorithmically chosen 8-bit team in this blog's entire existence. Though nobody can hit a hole in one with every swing, early season predictions certainly rang true despite how hard Browning Nagle tried to stain the carpet like a dog with an itch on its ass. We can talk about momentum all we want, but the fact of the matter is these are the six best teams from each conference, here to duke it out for the honor of defending their respective conferences in this year's Tecmo Bowl. However, we can't truly deny the fact that the Ragin' Cajun, Bobby Hebert, is playing more like a Limp Gimp lately. A few of our teams will need to regain the magic that boosted them here to begin with, while the others will hope they don't lose anymore of their magic powder along those unseen fissures in the wooden table.
As much as we'll talk about these final 12 in the next few weeks, it would be a shame to close the book without one last glance at the season that was for the remaining unlucky 14. Some of our bedridden fellows have a few fixable items on their list, while others will undergo the painful process of burning their coaches at the stake. It's not our place to determine the remedies for each team; that's their jurisdiction. However, if we had to don our tri-cornered hat and buckled shoes and rally up our pitchforks, we're pretty certain Marty Schottenheimer would have a few scorned glances cast his way.
It's always a bit too simple sometimes to just take 5 teams and mash them all into records set on nothing but a Nate Odomes fart in the wind. And when you see your credibility falling apart mid-season, it's a bit humbling. However, these things tend to always work themselves out, especially in the game of Tecmo. We almost hit the jackpot on Dan Marino's squad (who will be running his own affair in debauchery and gambling at this year's Madison, WI Tecmo IX tournament, Marino Royale), while Buffalo came out of a midseason squalor to nab this year's Number 3-seed.
The Jets were on a 'shock-the-world' campaign in the first half of the season, keeping neck and neck with their brothers in Miami. Though Coach Bruce Coslet faced down the abyss of spending the postseason on his mother's couch again, their early success behind a staunch defense had them clutch a 6-seed with a shocking Week 17 win over the Saints.And then there's Indianapolis and New England. We wave goodbye once again after handing out our participation awards, though the Patriots' 3-game win streak behind ROY-candidate Kevin Turner clearly shows New England on a different track than the Jeff George-led Colts, whose participation during a 10-game losing streak is still under question.
AFC Central
Houston's repeat division championship was never under question, though a few teams within the AFC Central bubbled up to the top to show the defending Tecmo Bowl Champions have a few new cracks in the pavement. The Oilers still have the honor of a first-week bye in the playoffs despite a 2-game lose out in the regular season, thanks to a Burt Grossman-sized implosion by the San Diego Chargers. They'll need the rest if they're to face a dangerous Buffalo Bills team or, as has been made clear, an even more dangerous Pittsburgh Steelers squad. Coach Bill Cowher led his rag-tag group of blue collar players through a tumultuous season, however one thing he does hold is two wins over Houston. Should they meet, they'll no doubt unleash the league's best rusher in Barry Foster on the unassuming oil fields of Houston's rush defense.No surprises in Cincinnati; with their number one pick going towards a lackluster college quarterback in Dave Klinger, there was no doubt Boomer would struggle to keep his cleats out of his mouth. It was the team out of Cleveland, however, that forced our own stockinged feet into our gaping maws with a push to the postseason, of which they fell miraculously short in Week 17--making their 8-8 finish about as useful as the 4 wins we graciously gave them at the season's beginning.
AFC West
Oh AFC West, AFC West, how we loathe thee, AFC West. We wanted to find reasons to love you, and unfortunately you gave nary a one. Chargers, yeah, you finished on top of this motley crew of individuals, though throwing away a first round bye by losing 4 of your last 5 can't convince us you'd fare any better than your other bumbling brutes you call division mates.Don't think we're leaving you out of this, Los Angeles. Usually, your lack of devotion to your craft and just overall lethargy keeps us from caring about the route you take to .500 by season's end. But when you start playing with the emotions of your fans, as guarded as they may be behind their black and silver cages, we can no longer stand idly by. With a chance for a postseason you never rightfully deserved on the line, you neither attempt to win or take grace in defeat. Instead, you tie your Week 17 game, proving once again that your team's existence is not a privilege but a right. A right that needs to be revoked.
Thanks again for playing, you other three. We won't dignify you with your names, but we're still obligated to give you your t-shirts. Now go.
NFC East
Not to brag, but Nostradamus' relative does work here, and he does a damn fine job with our IT infrastructure if we say so ourselves. He's also good for picking arbitrary playoff teams weeks in advance, and with the NFC East he couldn't have come closer. Of course, his eccentric way of selecting based on 'pretty colors' may differ from his famous great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpa, but in this instance it worked. Randall Cunningham's pretty tosses and fast legs put his experienced team, also led by a monster defense, atop this division, followed right at the heels by a young yet hungry Dallas team. Despite the finish, we put Dallas in the Tecmo Bowl, and though they finished with a weaker seed than we anticipated, we're still believers in their potent offense and a little backup plan entitled "The Steve Beuerlein Project".The Redskins returned with much of the same cast of characters they sent out in last year's Tecmo Bowl, but with the rise of the Cowboys and Philadelphia's resurgence, they were left without much more than a woeful smile and nice-job pats on the asses. New York's fall from grace under the weight of one man's facial hair was heavily documented, while Phoenix shocked the world by doubling the amount of wins we predicted with a successful 4-12 campaign.
NFC CentralIn a league filled with turbulence, the Vikings stood as the one team to lead their division throughout the entire season. Unfortunately, their Week 17 comeuppance also left them licking their wounds when they were the odd team out in a 4-team race for the 3 Wild Card spots. Hot on the heels of a 2-game win streak, along with winning 5 of their last 6, the Bears usurped the division for the crown in the last week of the season. After blowouts put them out of the point differential race, Chicago realized they'd have to tear their way into the postseason based on wins alone, and now enter as perhaps the hottest team in the NFC.
Green Bay, the main instigators of the power shift in the Central with their upset of Minnesota, enter the offseason a bit disappointed with their fortunes after a promising start, though shades of brilliance from new coach Mike Holmgren and Brett Favre have the cheeseheads wearing shades.Tampa Bay and Detroit. We could find a few things more interesting to talk about than these two teams, but then we wouldn't be doing our jobs. Maybe instead you'll still accept this tribute video to Vinny Testaverde?
NFC West
Tales will be told of this division by the aging players to their grandchildren, as 75% of the teams will be attending the postseason. The NFC West was up for grabs the entire season, with Atlanta hitting the gas pedal around the last turn to take it in the end. Our hopes were low for the Dirty Birds entering the season, however they now take a 2-seed in the NFC and earn a much-deserved week off.Meanwhile, the Saints, poised to take the division in the early games, sputtered and now find themselves dangerously below 'E' on their gauge, falling from their own assured bye-week in the playoffs and hardly snatching a Number 5-seed. They'll meet a 49ers team that, though they underachieved, come into the postseason as hot as ever. San Francisco had their life support cable nearly frayed before Week 16 after some humbling losses, but their formulaic win alongside some help in losses from the Saints and Minnesota put them back in their perennial postseason spot, one that they'll enjoy marinating in.
Los Angeles put up more of a fight than we thought, giving a good case to including the entire West in the playoffs with sound defeats of their division. They didn't repeat their Cinderella season, though we're sure to see photos emerge of Tim Lester in glass slippers during the offseason.
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So there you have it. We've done the time, and now it's finally our chance to take part in our just deserts. Another season has come and gone, and for those of you who slept through the fall, it's time to wake up, put on that ill-fitting jersey, grab your chewed up foam finger and push for your favorite team. Whether they're a sexy underdog or an odds-on-favorite, there's sure to be no deficit in drama with teams like the Jets and Bears involved.
Tune in tomorrow for a quadruple header of nonstop, gluttonous football action. Will the 49ers win their third game in a row over the suddenly muzzled Saints? Will Dallas get their revenge on the Bears just a week after getting mauled by a sharp-toothed Jim Harbaugh? While we all hope for one team out of the Jets-Chargers to snap out of their hibernation, there's sure to be fireworks when Pittsburgh and Buffalo meet and two of the top backs in the league collide. If you're not excited for some Wild Card Tecmo action, you'd better check your pulse and hope that the brain-eating instinct hasn't kicked in yet. You're only bound to go hungry around here if it has.
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