Monday Night Football: Atlanta vs. Green Bay

There was a time when the smile of most Mississippi boys could make any woman's heart melt. While today most of that innocence is lost, back in 1992 the youthful smile of one southern boy was transported up to the frigid, white north of America's armpit, a "bay" in Wisconsin. Luckily for the Packers, it's been the jumpstart they've needed after years of wallowing in Majkowski mediocrity. As for the Falcons of Atlanta, well, they haven't had time to miss the youthful exuberance of Brett Favre with Chris Miller lighting up the scoreboard and 'Neon' Deion Sanders staring the halter tops off of the opposite sex. These two teams have been on a collision course for a while, now let's examine the wreckage.

Quarter One
Robert Brooks kicks things off for the greenest of bays in America with a return from inside the Packers' end zone out to the 27-yard line. One play later, and the usually workman-like Vince Workman is dodging Atlanta would-be tacklers for 73 yards and his first rushing touchdown of the season.

Green Bay leads 7-0

The man they call Tony Smith, acquired in the trade for Favre from the Packers, goes on a popcorn parade through the Green Bay special teams unit before finally getting dragged down by all eleven Packers, a few coaches and three of Wisconsin's finest heifers. Steve Broussard returns to respectable fanfare, but loses 3 yards on his first carry back from his highly-publicized hangnail injury. Chris Miller, coming into the game only behind Hugh "Benchmark" Millen in passer rating, shows off his precise arm with a 20-yard overthrow of Andre Rison along the sidelines. On 3rd-and-13, he misfires towards Mike Pritchard, and Scott Fulhage is called on to fail in impressing his overly-critical father.

After just a net punt of 24 or so yards, Brett Favre goes to work with a play action to Harry Sydney for 22 positive yards. After a pitch to Sydney accumulates no further yardage, Favre goes back to play action. Scanning the scene for a receiver tonight, he tucks the ball in and looks for a fight. Able to scramble for 12 yards and another first down, the Packers close out the first quarter with the popular 18-yard Favre-to-Jackie Harris connection that's become all the rage with the impressionable youth of today.

Quarter Two
From the Atlanta 4-yard line, Harry Sydney gets a mouthful of Mike Gann and loses an entire yard in the process. A sterling Sterling Sharpe reverse gains it back, though the effort appears to have cost Sharpe the use of his cerebellum when the trainers have to come out and scrape him from the turf. On the all-important 3rd-and-goal from the 3, Workman makes it look easy for his second touchdown of the season.

Green Bay leads 14-0

Smith is less aggressive on his second return, only locating the Atlanta 14-yard line before being tripped up. Irregardless, Chris Miller lines up in the shotgun formation, and the oblivious Green Bay defense lets him rip for 9 yards. Broussard takes the pitch on the next play for his first successful run of the game, netting 8 yards. Matching his rusher's success, Miller connects on his first pass of the game, a 47-yard bomb to Pritchard in double coverage. Two excellently delayed handoffs to Broussard net 17 yards, and soon the Falcons find themselves on the precipice of six salacious points. From the Green Bay 5-yard line, Miller's pass to Pritchard is nearly picked this time, and so the Falcons opt to play it safe by letting the fatally fragile Steve Broussard high-knee it into the end zone.

Green Bay leads 14-7

A short Norm Johnson kick gives Green Bay favorable starting position at midfield. Harry "Soul Harvester" Sydney racks up an entire 4 yards on the ensuing carry, followed by a Sanjay Beach appearance to appease the Mideastern contingent in attendance. The famous Favre play action goes over an unnamed Atlanta defender's outstretched arms and into the hands of Jackie Harris at the Atlanta 2-yard line. With 27 eternal seconds remaining on the clock, rookie head coach Mike Holmgren is obviously misheard while in mid-hamburger when the field goal unit runs out and Chris Jacke kicks a quick 20-yarder. It remains to be seen if the infamous burger bite will come back to bite Holmgren in his own buns.

Green Bay leads 17-7

Halftime - Packers 17, Falcons 7

Quarter Three
Smith gets another bodacious run-back to the Atlanta 45-yard line, followed by a Miller bootleg for no gain. His next attempt, stubborn as it is, is a bit more successful as he picks up the first down. It's the 45-yard lob to a leaping Pritchard in the end zone that the Falcons' fans have been waiting for, however.

Green Bay leads 17-14

Norm Johnson, appearing a bit more pumped up from the combination of Miller's prowess and the Technotronic jam now thumping throughout the arena, careens the kick into the Green Bay end zone. Brooks only makes it a meager 5 yards out before getting tackled, giving the Packers their least amount of breathing room all day. Workman picks up a more characteristic 3 yards, which coincidentally is just enough to save Sydney from a safety on the next play when his pitch is called by the Falcons' defense and he's dropped at the Green Bay 1-yard line. He can't redeem much when an ill-timed pass by Favre is blocked, and Bryan Wagner is called on to punt from Row 11.

Tony Smith continues to produce, taking advantage of a short punt and getting his Falcons into Packer territory on the return. Brittle Broussard chalks up another 6 yards to his stat line to precede the Chris Miller show, which includes two passes to Pritchard and Rison that net 40 yards. From the 9-yard line, Broussard takes two attempts to net 5, leaving Wisconsin fans to try and figure out what is still yet needed for a score. Broussard answers it for them with a run up the middle that goes untouched by a single Packer defender.

Atlanta leads 21-17

The third quarter ends on a slightly different note than the others for Green Bay, though a decent Brooks return to the 41-yard line and a Brett Favre run for 28 yards has them headed in the right direction leading into the fourth quarter.

Quarter Four
Favre's play action pass to Beach tacks on another 22 yards, and suddenly the Packers are threatening to take back their once-strong lead. From the 9-yard line, Favre flings it to Beach in the corner of the end zone, though he overshoots wildly. His next pass lines its way to his favorite target in Jackie Harris, but Scott Case is there to spoil the day for the rookie with an interception.

Atlanta doesn't tend to take long to make the Packers pay for their ill-timed mistake. It takes two plays for them to extend their lead, one being a 6-yard run from Steve Broussard and the other a jumping jackass named Andre Rison nabbing the ball from 74 yards away.

Atlanta leads 28-17

Robert Brooks powers his way to the Green Bay 39-yard line, where the Packers hope to work quickly to rein this game back in. Two bad Favre passes leave the Packers staring at a 3rd-and-10 dilemma with most of their hopes lying on a rookie with no dental plan and a former USFL cast-out in Harry Sydney. Sydney loses 3 yards on the next play, and so on 4th down Favre takes his own chances and lobs a pass up. Unfortunately, Moe Gardner is there to tip the pass, and then immediately stare down Favre like he just made fun of his high-top fade.

Atlanta takes the ball over on downs in advantageous territory, though the Green Bay defense does their best to flip them around with three straight blitzes, one of which takes Broussard out for the second time this season. On the third blitz, Tony Smith fumbles the ball over to Chuck Cecil on his first professional carry, and suddenly the Packers are no worse for the wear at the Falcons' 28-yard line.

Coach Holmgren, who's name surprisingly doesn't appear on the book of clock management, runs two straight ground plays from Vince Workman before finally entrusting Favre with the ball at the 1-minute mark. On the ensuing play, Favre feels what it's like to be Jessie Tuggle's wife for the night. Licking his wounds, he harmlessly hands the ball off to Workman on fourth down, who catches the Falcons' defense unawares and picks up the first down. With 32 seconds left and needing to score, Favre launches it to Beach at the 5-yard line with only Jessie Solomon in front of him. And in the course of a few seconds, it's Solomon who's icing the game when he picks up Beach's fumble and slides the Falcons into their fourth win.

Final: Falcons 28, Packers 17

The story of the Packers' season thus far is told pretty neatly in the microcosm of this game. They led convincingly for the entirety of the first half, before skidding violently through the second and avoiding scoring points altogether. The Falcons, meanwhile, played the part of the cool, confident team that has gotten them where they now reside at 4-1. Unfortunately they play in the NFC West in a year where the Saints and 49ers appear an entire parsec ahead of them. Atlanta has the weapons, and with the right coaching should be able to find ways to use them to get into playoff talks. The Packers' offense, meanwhile, can't keep hiding behind Brett Favre's grits-smothered smile. If they have any more meltdowns like they did this evening, the rest of the NFC will continue to smell the blood in the waters of Green Bay.

Wild Card Weekend: Saturday Edition

It's time to break out the good beer and serious music: it's Tecmo playoff season. We didn't really know what to expect when we started this other than what was expected, and now it's finally time to forge the road that Buffalo and San Francisco will eventually take to the playoffs. Today we'll begin with a couple of 3-6 match-ups between teams that have all seen each other before. Seattle and Denver had two divisional match-ups in which they split, but Denver won the division so I guess blah blah blah whatever. Green Bay and the Rams had an altercation in Week 5 in which the Rams blew the Packers out behind a big game from Jim Everett, but Don Majkowski has a history of turning it up in the playoffs--and by that, of course, we mean high school, as this will be his first NFL playoff game.

6 Green Bay Packers (9-6-1) at 3 Los Angeles Rams (10-6)

And Faison applauds perhaps a bit disingenuously

Quarter One
Willie Anderson returns to the fray after a few weeks out. Derrick Faison, a late-season hero for the Rams, sits on the sidelines with a ball cap on. We're already thinking things don't bode well for the Rams, until Buford McGee returns the kickoff all the way to the Green Bay 30-yard line. This makes him the first Buford to ever return a kick in NFL playoff history, as well as the first man named Buford since the Civil War. On the first play from scrimmage, Anderson is welcomed back with a 30-yard toss from Jim Everett that's good for a Rams touchdown.

Los Angeles leads 7-0

Down early, Green Bay doesn't panic and instead goes the slow route with a few Sterling Sharpe reverse plays mixed in with some short dink-and-dunk passes. After the ninth Sharpe reverse somehow fools the Rams defense and goes for 35 yards, Keith Woodside chugs it in from 6 yards out to tie the game.

Score tied 7-7

Quarter Two
The Rams are forced to start behind the 50-yard line, which means they have to break out an actual playbook for this drive. They follow Cleveland Gary and Curt Warner downhill as they cut through the Green Bay defense like the hunk of cheddar they are, and in just under two minutes into the quarter Cleveland Gary's racing 22 yards to paydirt.

Los Angeles leads 14-7

The Sharpe reverse is blasted in two consecutive plays, and so the Packers bring out Don Majkowski for the first time this quarter to run a few plays. But on 3rd and 24, Don is running instead of throwing and the rabbit continues napping inside the hat as the Packers are forced to punt.

Everett, who's having a quietly perfect day, converts a perfect throwing drive into a perfect 30-yard catch and run from Mr. Perfect look-alike, Curt Warner. Oh wait, maybe that's Kurt Warner. Google images doesn't differentiate, so why should I?

Los Angeles leads 21-7

I think the wrong guy is jumping here

Green Bay faces a deep hole just before halftime, and for the first time in a while that doesn't refer to Anthony Dilweg. They play patient football, and after another long Sharpe reverse to the Rams' 26-yard line, Majkowski and Sharpe go to much more familiar territory with a 26-yard pass, leaving just 26 seconds on the clock. Somehow we just know this is going to turn into a Jim Carrey reference.

Los Angeles leads 21-14

With Green Bay appearing to come alive and getting the ball after the break, the Rams will have a lot to talk about in the locker room after all the hookers leave.

Halftime - Rams 21, Packers 14

And best Men's Swimsuit Edition cover ever

Quarter Three
When Sharpe converts a 3rd-and-1 situation at the Rams' 18-yard line with a 3-yard reverse, you can just feel a momentum shift akin to when Tony Mandarich jumps. Sharpe does a relatively larger amount of damage on the next play when he drags in a 15-yard touchdown pass from Majkowski to pull Green Bay even with plenty of game to go.

Score tied 21-21

After two straight Packer blitzes, the Rams suddenly face 3rd-and-29 and their first potential non-scoring drive of the game. That doesn't remove their cocky-factor, however, when they simply hand it off to Warner up the middle. He only gains 3, the Rams are punting, and somewhere the modesty gods are chuckling.

The quarter ends with the Packers driving, capping off with a trademark 15-yard run from Majkowski to push them deep into Los Angeles territory.

Quarter Four
The final chapter in this first wild card game of The Tecmo Bowl season begins with Green Bay taking their first lead of the game on a 25-yard lob to Sharpe for his third touchdown of the day.

Green Bay leads 28-21

Somewhere out from the pixellated blob
emerges Jerry Holmes

Inspired by their offense, the Packers draw up another blitz and, unaware of what to do, Warner decides to fumble the ball over to pride of Hempstead High School, Johnny Holland. Despite the cries coming from the sideline to drop to the field, Holland selfishly and vaingloriously trucks it 32 yards for a touchdown to show why Texans are the worst.

Green Bay leads 35-21

With their fortunes flipped in just a matter of one and a half minutes, the Rams begin marching down the field, taking off quite a bit of time, but now they're in the red zone and it'll all be worth it if Gary can just keep running toward the--well, there goes that.

Green Bay takes over on the fumble, but are forced into a three-and-out by the Rams defense when they shrug off their effective Sharpe reverse play for the first time in three consecutive plays.

With 9 seconds to go, Ellard buys some time by faking an injury after the kick return. Derrick Faison makes his triumphant return to the field, looking for some late-game magic, but when the pass goes to Warner instead the official scorers decide not to give the Rams the 15 style points they could have used to eke this one out.

Final Score: Packers 35, Rams 21

And a rare playoff appearance by the Rams shows just why they shouldn't be there to belong with. After an explosive start, they ended up beating themselves with cocky prima donna attitudes while Green Bay played the patient cat-and-mouse game to advance. While we have to give Los Angeles credit for pulling the rug out from beneath the 49ers and taking the division this year, we somehow knew that Green Bay would win by playing the grittier, smash-mouth kind of football that Tecmo is known for, despite what flashy YouTube videos or time-wasting blog posts may tell you. The Packers meet divisional rivals Minnesota for NFC Central bragging rights.

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6 Seattle Seahawks (9-7) at 3 Denver Broncos (9-7)

Quarter One
Denver begins their history-making march toward Tecmo Bowl glory with a John Elway interception on first down.

Nice cross-body throw, jackass

The Seahawks play the ball-control game, despite the popular game plan of keeping the ball in Elway's uncertain hands, running Derrick Fenner up the gut and completing short passes up the middle. After about 16 carries and 4 minutes tick off the clock, Fenner gets his first Tecmo playoff touchdown since that one weird Tuesday afternoon about sixteen years ago.

Seattle leads 7-0

Denver drives their horseshit carriage down into the Seattle red zone behind the non-Rams cornerback Bobby Humphrey, but Elway's teeth get in the way again and he lobs up another pick at the Seattle 6-yard line.

Quarter Two
Seattle sandwiches a long 50-yard pass to Brian Blades between hard-nose running from Derrick Fenner and John L. Williams, and before it turns into a party sub they finally get the touchdown behind an 8-yard classical score-accompanied run by Williams.

Seattle leads 14-0

Who knew the Murphy Brown painter was also a medic?

Big weapon and favorite Elway target Vance Johnson goes out after a decent return, kick-starting an inspired drive from Denver. Humphrey carves the number 6-ranked defense Seahawks defense like sushi as he roars down the field, capping it off with a 15-yard run for the score. On a team filled with jack-asses, Humphrey is one bright stallion.

Seattle leads 14-7

The Seahawks get the ball back with just enough time to get All-Pro kicker and Leave it to Beaver dad, Norm Johnson, on the field. This prospect is made possible after a huge 64-yard grab from Blades, and Johnson punches it in from 33 yards out.

Seattle leads 17-7

Halftime - Seahawks 17, Broncos 7

Quarter Three
Needing a three-and-out to get the ball back, the number 1-ranked defense shows its fury and forces GQ cover model Dave Krieg off the field, although giving the ball back to John Elway isn't always the best decision in a wild card game.

Ricky, you forgot your game ball

Just like in their Week 3 Monday Night battle, Sammy Winder gets the call when Steve Sewell goes out, hopefully generating a spark in the silent Denver offense. He carries the ball into the Seattle red zone, where Denver meets much better fortunes than last time when Elway finds Vance Johnson replacement, Ricky Nattiel, for his first playoff touchdown in Tecmo history.

Seattle leads 17-14

With their division champions marching back, Seattle knows they need to kick up their play to Space Needle levels. However, in just two plays, they're facing a 3rd and 9 situation. Krieg dumps it off to the dependable Ron Heller, a man who's been here before, but the play comes up just a yard short and the Broncos will be getting the ball back with a chance to take the lead.

The second largest construct in Seattle

Quarter Four
The indomitable monster that is the Seattle defense wakes up, crushing Winder and Elway on two separate plays to force a 3rd-and-19 situation. Elway sees the open field ahead of him and draws up the run, but once again makes the mistake of being the first person in history to not see Cortez Kennedy. Denver punts.

With just under four minutes left, Seattle goes with a few Fenner runs to drain out the clock. Unfortunately, this game planning only gets them to their own 45-yard line at the two minute warning, and the Denver defense will give their team another chance for a late drive to pull ahead.

Elway and his Broncos aren't making any friends on the other side of the ball when they put themselves quickly into a 3rd and 17. Tony Woods gets his national exposure on a sack of Elway to force 4th down, but the Broncos are saddling up. Unfortunately for them, Woods' works at a glue factory in the offseason.

Seattle takes over on downs at the Denver 18-yard line, but 3 incomplete Krieg passes keep them out of the end zone. They go for the sure 3 points from Norm Johnson, but now take just a shaky 6-point lead over the Broncos with still a minute to go for some Elway postseason magic. So far, they've only just seen amateur birthday party clown Elway.

We've already sold this screen to NFL films

Seattle leads 20-17

The Broncos start at their own 47-yard line with just 23 seconds to go. Needing a touchdown, Elway goes for broke with a flea-flicker to Nattiel that gets them to the Seattle 20-yard line. To set the scene, the Broncos call their play with just one second remaining and the season on the line. And here, the game ends in storybook fashion. We should mention that this is a Seattle storybook, and Nesby Glasgow is the Prince whereas Elway is the sharp-fanged dragon.

Final Score: Seahawks 20, Broncos 17


The Seahawks are the second 6-seed to advance today, but the more probable 6-seed to continue as their defense wins this one. With three picks of Elway and championing the time management factor of the the game, Seattle wins smart, not hard, and will now meet the Oilers next round. Although the Cinderella season continues for the Seahawks, the Moon is rising in Houston, and a good defense against Denver is wildly different than a good defense against this season's most prolific offense. In either case, Seattle didn't go home with the trophy but show that they should have taken the division with a decisive tiebreaking victory over Denver. But as a consolation trophy, the Broncos will get to go home to some frost-brewed Coors Light, of which you'll most likely find the players still buried beneath about two months from now.

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Don't forget, tomorrow we'll wind up wild card weekend with Cincinnati in Miami and the Giants taking on the 49ers. It'll be the first time men in blue will be seen in San Francisco since last weekend's parade!

Monday Night Football: Dallas at Green Bay

After this game, he's boxing for the Soviets

Dallas heads north to Green Bay amidst inner turmoil and external goings-on within their own division. While the NFC Central isn't a cake-walk for the Acme Packing Company's favorite team, Dallas faces at least three other teams that don't expect to go anywhere for a while, and another that plays happily amidst 115 degree heat. Dallas needs a win to stay ahead of the surging Giants, while the Packers need to dig deep into their own gouda-covered souls just to keep pace with the league-best Minnesota Vikings. The Cowboys and Packers have identical 3-2 records, and while their style of play is mostly different, with Emmitt Smith on the ground for Dallas and Ed West trying out his moon boots to pull in Don Majkowski bombs for Green Bay, their will to win is the same. After all, you don't have to scour the internet to find out how far Troy Aikman is willing to go for this win--in fact, you just need to look to your left, courtesy of Pro Line Portraits.




Quarter One

Aikman can only watch in pixellated horror

Dallas wins the toss and greedily decides to take the kick, going against all social customs and I believe a few of the Camp David Accords. James Dixon takes a poor Chris Jacke kick to the Dallas 41 for a prime starting spot. After an incomplete pass to Jay Novacek and a modest, yet unsuccessful, run by Tommy Agee for 7 yards, Dallas finds themselves with a third-and-three situation. Not wanting to relinquish their drive and waste good field position, they decide to try and convert the third-down with another Agee dash around the end for 4 yards and the first down. After this successful display of professional football play-calling and a gutsy effort by Agee, Aikman gives it up anyway with a pick to linebacker Scott Stephen.

Starting from his own 40-yard line, Don Majkowski takes the field, and his mullet appears a bit perturbed that he's missing the hockey game. His first pass is a perfect strike to Perry Kemp, who carries it into Dallas territory with a 29-yard gain. This play inevitably sets up the Michael Haddix draw, which is usually almost always doomed from its inception. When his next pass to Kemp is blocked, Majkowski now faces an improbable 3rd-and-10 situation, and so he goes to the sure-handed Kemp again for a possible conversion. Unbeknownst to him, Kemp is now drawing about three defenders a play, and his pass is batted harmlessly away. Chris Jacke is on, and not even the cold October chill of eastern Wisconsin can stop his 50-yarder from splitting the uprights.

Nintendo goal post, or M.C. Escher drawing?

Green Bay leads 3-0

Dixon takes another nice return out to the Dallas 43-yard line. And what starts as a promising drive turns into a broken promise for Cowboys' fans when Aikman is picked off again, this time by another member of Green Bay's alliterative secondary, Chuck Cecil.

Majkowski keeps the momentum going with an overthrow of wide open Sterling Sharpe on first down. He makes up for this indiscretion with a 12-yard connection to Haddix. And if the conventional thinking here is to keep moving quickly to keep Dallas reeling, Lindy Infante does the opposite with a Sharpe reverse play, perhaps to go along with the fact that his clothes and hat are all on backwards and that he keeps telling the other coaches that "It's NOT OPPOSITE day".

All that paid-for weight training, yet Aikman
just can't buy this kind of talent

Quarter Two
The next quarter begins with a football bouncing off Michael Haddix's face mask, and it's 3rd-and-11. Out of the shotgun, Majkowski launches a beauty to Kemp that spends about 30 seconds in the air and goes 12 yards. The next two plays involve Keith Woodside and Sterling Sharpe, but because they're not Sharpe reverses, Green Bay scores a touchdown.

Green Bay leads 10-0

Like the middle brother, James Dixon takes another great return unnoticed to the Dallas 47-yard line. The first Aikman pass is blocked at the line of scrimmage, considered a great success by his coaches, so when his next pass is completed to Michael Irvin for a gain of 23 yards they're pretty much ready to dust off Roger Staubach's crown and scepter. Knowing when to cash in their chips, however, the Cowboys entrust the next play to Emmitt Smith, who sheds a defender or two for a 28-yard touchdown run and gets Dallas back in this one.

Green Bay leads 10-7

If that is your real name...

From their own 26-yard line, Green Bay starts with about two and a half minutes remaining to build on their lead before the half. Kemp pulls in a pass in double coverage for 13 yards, but the Packers' scoring campaign comes to a halt there after three straight sacks, two by Jimmie Jones. One of the NFC's best punters named Don comes out, and boots one 60 yards to pin Dallas at their own 26-yard line.

With 1:12 left in the half, it's Dallas' turn to take control of their destiny, and their scoring drive begins with a Smith burst up the middle for 11 yards. With 50 seconds left, Aikman drops back to pass and finds Smith again, this time hoofing it down the field. He characteristically breaks a tackle, and it's not until he crosses in for a touchdown when the next Packer defender finally breaks the 50-yard line.

Dallas leads 14-10

Charles Wilson doesn't fool anyone into thinking he's scoring on his 15-yard kickoff return, as the time runs out on the half and Green Bay's early dominance.

Halftime - Cowboys 14, Packers 10

Lake Michigan is closer than any Dallas defender on this play

Quarter Three
It's Green Bay's turn at the start of the second half due to NFL rules regarding ball control, and out from their own 38 Woodside takes a handoff to midfield for a first down. The Magic Man can't find his rabbit with an overthrow of Kemp, but he successfully saws the Cowboys defense in half on the next play with a lob to Kemp for a 51-yard touchdown connection.

Green Bay leads 17-14

Inspired by his team's last drive, Chris Jacke finally gets his kick past the Dallas 30-yard line, where Dixon is eventually stopped anyway. Aikman goes to the air on the first play from scrimmage, hitting Michael Irvin between the middle hashmarks for 13 yards. Jerry Holmes sacks Aikman on the next play, making Agee's ensuing bootleg run a bit questionable until he gets the ball to within inches of another Dallas first down. They go with the Agee run around the left again, and just when the Cowboys looked to be choking away their lead on Colby cheddar, Agee breaks a tackle behind the line and tacks on 13 more yards. Smith steals his thunder and perhaps his father's love on the next play, however, with a 30-yard burst up the middle to the Green Bay 4-yard line. In spite of this success, Dallas goes to the air on the next two plays, and although they try to involve Smith both times, he can't haul in the Aikman lobs and it's 3rd-and-goal from the 5-yard line. Smith goes around the right end, but the human wood-chipper named Bob Nelson is there to swallow him up, leaving nothing but a cloud of navy and gray molecules. Ken Willis is on for the chip shot and Dallas ties it up.

Score tied 17-17

After a considerably poor return by Wilson, Green Bay starts at their own 16-yard line. Majkowski scrambles into the fourth quarter with a 12-yard run.

Ed West, followed by Majkowski's magical floating football

Quarter Four
The Haddix draw play somehow nets the Packers 21 total yards into Dallas territory, wiping away nearly a minute, along with the smiles of any connoisseurs of defensive prowess. Majkowski hits Kemp for a 35-yard gain, and then Ed West in double-coverage for a touchdown, using up less than half the time it took Haddix to get back to the sideline.

Green Bay leads 24-17

Knowing that his team needs a touchdown just to tie with only 3:24 remaining, Dixon helps his team out with a return to the Dallas 46-yard line. Jimmy Johnson breaks out the cerebral coaching tactics he's so well-known for by using Smith to run down the clock, and then is taken over by his inner flashy offense demons when he calls for a deep pass to Kelvin Martin for a 48-yard catch-and-run touchdown to tie it up with two and a half minutes remaining.

Score tied 24-24

Misplacing a page from the James Dixon book of kick returning, Wilson only gets the ball to the Green Bay 18-yard line with 2:11 remaining for a final win-sealing score. After Woodside takes the ball for a short gain, Majkowski almost tosses the game away when his pass to West is nearly intercepted. With 3rd-and-5 staring at him in the face, Don goes to his favorite Sharpe, who pulls in a nearly impossible reception and streaks down to the Dallas 23-yard line. Needing just to run down the clock and put Jacke out on the field, Green Bay opts for a Sharpe reverse. Coach Johnson's got his Brainiac cap on, however, and decides to let Sharpe score on the reverse to put the ball back in his team's hands. Unfortunately for Dallas, the Sharpe play is designed to take off at least 45 seconds, and when Dallas gets the ball back they only have 30 seconds left and lots of Monterey Jack-covered egg to wipe off their faces.

Green Bay leads 31-24

Purely for football card stats only

Jacke puts everything into his next kick, apparently saving it all for this one, but Dixon carries it out of the back of the end zone anyway. Needing one of his patented exciting returns, Dixon can only get to the 7-yard line. With 14 seconds left, Dallas goes to the popular Last Play in Tecmo playbook and hands the ball and hopes for a win to Agee. And in true Tecmo fashion, he takes it for a 9-yard gain that still falls 55 yards short of spur-kicking, pistol-shooting glory.

Final: Packers 31, Cowboys 24

Fans of the Packers have to be happy with what they saw out of their quarterback and his favorite target, as they connected 5 times, twice for a touchdown. Majkowski leads the league with 18 touchdowns, 3 more than Jim Everett, and the Packers are hot on the heels of Minnesota and Chicago in the NFC Central leading into Week Seven. The NFC East gets a little messier here with Dallas' loss, and despite the Cowboys' efficient run game there is much to be desired by their offense. They fall into a tie with New York, looking up at Philadelphia, Washington and perhaps the roofs of their own coffins. Troy Aikman threw two early picks, but Dallas stayed close with Green Bay, even leading at the half. It sort of makes you wonder where they may have finished had the picks been touchdowns, but then again that sort of wondering might get you thinking about how much longer you have until you see your wife in bed with Babe Laufenberg.