For the reading-impaired, you can check out the Tecmo Bowl: Highlights episode HERE. Unfortunately, Steve Sabol was unavailable for commentary, and the introduction filmed by Boomer Esiason had to be cut for time and internet etiquette reasons.
The Tecmo Bowl
Quarter One
The Redskins win the toss, but the crowd wouldn't know until the kick-off due to the questionable P.A. system inside the Metrodome. By the time the cloud of confusion is settled, Stan Humphries' is nervously overthrowing Earnest Byner by about 10 yards. He gathers himself on the next play, and throws a perfect, Humphries-trademarked laser to Gary Clark at the Houston 40-yard line. Clark, known more for his nimble running than his sure-handedness, makes the most of his new opportunity by trucking it all the way down to the 11-yard line. One play later, and Humphries is bathing in the lights and shouts of 100,000 new believers after his 11-yard run for a touchdown.
Washington leads 7-0
Gerald McNeil fails to get his team jump-started when his shoelace is grabbed at his own 7-yard line. Warren Moon dangerously comes out in a shotgun formation, standing in the sky blue grass of his own end zone, but it's snapped directly to Lorenzo White instead, who bumbles for 4 yards. Meanwhile, there's about a half million angry bettors in Vegas that picked a pass play to open the first Oilers' drive that will hope to make it back on their bet that a Budweiser commercial opens the first break. On the next play, Moon drops back into a more familiar position, and finds a wide open Drew Hill at the Washington 45-yard line. Tracy Rocker rocks Moon's world on the next snap, but Moon suavely finds Curtis Duncan in coverage at the Redskins' 19-yard line. One more toss to Drew Hill is all that separates Houston's players from a certain lap dance from some Minneapolis townies at halftime.
Score tied 7-7
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| Stan's face, meet Stan's ass crack |
The Oilers start a second consecutive drive with Lorenzo for 7 yards. Warren Moon sets for another sure touchdown pass to one of his thirteen offensive weapons, but the famous Redskins' secondary rises from the ashes, and Martin Mayhew immortalizes himself in Tecmo lore with a huge pick in the end zone.
Quarter Two
Stan's still playing fidgety football, with another overthrow of a wide open Byner on first down. Earnest takes the ball on second down for 4 yards, but is scared stupid by the speed of Stan on third and 6 as he busts it out for 19 yards to the Washington 43-yard line. The Gary Clark reverse makes its first appearance, breaking its own record for latest appearance. Clark gets the 10 yards needed for a first down to keep the drive alive, but can't pull in a long ball on the next play. Humphries drops back once more, throwing it to Art Monk for the first time in the game, when the 17th-ranked defense bears its teeth and Richard Johnson matches Washington pick-for-pick at his own 32-yard line.
The Houston strategy of giving it to White on the first play continues, with a meager 3-yard run. It's enough to lull the Redskins' defense into a false sense of security, as it was only a matter of time before Moon found Hill again for their second touchdown hook-up and fifth illicitly shared object of the day.
Houston leads 14-7
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| The difference not being a Cleveland Brown makes |
Score tied 14-14
Unfortunately, 20 seconds may still be too much time for Moon and Co., and that's made all too clear with a wide open Drew Hill streaking down the sideline for a potential third touchdown in the half. Sadly, the ball is uncharacteristically overthrown and rolls harmlessly toward the Minnesota Vikings trophy case, jarring the heavy dust and cobwebs loose.
Halftime - Oilers 14, Redskins 14
Quarter Three
Lohmiller kicks it off his heel which leads to a decent Gerald McNeil return to the Washington 43-yard line. From the gun, Moon clinically slices open the Washington secondary with a pass to Ernest Givins for 27 yards, but requires some quick surgery of his own on the sideline after a determined Andre Collins disembowels him. Luckily, his line gives him all day on the next play, and he finds Givins again for a 15-yard gain. His receivers elude him on the next three plays, however, and Zendejas is out for what has become a very important 3 points. It appears his nerves and the fact that someone opened a door to the dome pulled his kick right, however, when the ball bounces backward off the upright.
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| May there one day be a Nobel scientist that accurately predicts the effects of decompression on field goal kicks to keep this from ever occurring again |
Washington leads 21-14
The Oilers are looking to answer the third lead change in three quarters, but have to contend with a powerful Lohmiller kick that pins them at their own 7-yard line. Washington drops back about 8 men to cover, but nobody sees the lithe Curtis Duncan, who yanks in a 35-yard completion. Lorenzo gets his one rush-per-drive for 1 yard, and Moon goes back to his chosen receiver for this round, Duncan, for another 10 yard pass to convert the first down. The quarter tumbles to a close, however, with a pass block at the line of scrimmage and an ill-fated White run for 2 yards.
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| Some men are merely players, while other men are named Drew Hill |
On 3rd-and-8, Moon's pass is waved out of bounds by a diving Givins, and now they face a fourth down at midfield. Zendejas is told to sit down and re-lace the ball-boy's shoes on the bench while Moon calls a pivotal 4th-and-8 play. And who else would he go to on the biggest play of the game, but the man for which, like a Zen proverb, there is no answer: Drew Hill. He leaps in the corner of the end zone for the potential tying score, putting it back on Stan Humphries to try and become the most popular man in Washington since its namesake graced its plantations.
Score tied 21-21
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| Taken just 3 minutes before the inevitable score |
Washington leads 28-21
Two minutes remain for Warren Moon, which, unfortunately for the Redskins, is time enough for him to defraud his taxes, let alone drive his team to a tying score. It doesn't look promising to start, however, with an incomplete pass followed by a short run from Lorenzo White. Facing pressure on third down, he threads it to Duncan for a gain of 32 yards to the Redskins' 22-yard line. With under a minute remaining, Moon's first pass to Haywood Jeffries sails over his head, nearly knocking over the memorial display set up for Kirby Puckett's right eye.
With 26 seconds left, the Oilers go for a possible fake-out with a Lorenzo White run up the middle that nets just 6 yards.
On 3rd-and-4 with 13 seconds remaining, the Redskins hurl their entire defense at Moon, causing an errant pass to Duncan that winds up knocking over that weird jug of milk balloon by the visiting team's tunnel.
And so, it's come to this: 4th down, with just 4 seconds remaining and 16 yards to keep the season alive. Moon drops back, his receivers spread like a venereal disease, but his go-to guys are all covered...no Duncan, no Givins, and no Hill. So what does he do? He gives a man named Haywood Jeffries a chance to immortalize himself in a game that couldn't even spell his last name right.
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| Give me a J! E! F! F!...R?, no, I...wait...R?...err |
Score tied 28-28
OVERTIME
With the winner of this coin toss inevitably given the best chance to win at this point, Houston uses their 85 combined years of gambling experience to correctly guess the call and take the kick.
But Washington didn't come all the way to Minnesota without packing their balls, and the overtime period starts with what else? SURPRISE ONSIDE!
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| Damn Chippy |
...Luckily, Professor Moon is there to answer that question with the longest, quietest 48-yard lob in Washington Redskins' history. And who else but Drew Hill is there on the other end to certify his lifetime no-fly status inevitably being drawn up in the nation's capital as we speak.
Final Score: Oilers 34, Redskins 28 (OT)
The Oilers only led twice in this game, but it certainly felt like they had the contest by the throat with the way Moon tore up the carbonated Metrodome air. Drew Hill, who caught 13 scores all year from Moon, pulled in four of the five touchdowns to defy all of his detractors, more aptly known as his coaches. Hill was a man possessed, cementing a legacy that includes a 12th-round draft pick, and making the best pass defense in the NFL look like a team of potato sack racers in the Special Olympics. Stan Humphries, hero of the NFC Divisional playoffs, still put on a show and may wind up forcing Mark Rypien to play for his job next year. Although he didn't throw for a score, his legs led to a few important conversions and their first lead of the game, and should keep him from hanging his head until his future concussion-prone style of play has him watching his drool collect in puddles at his feet. Although Washington enamored us with their heart, Houston played the best football this year, ultimately proving it in the final game of this magical season.
The adventure doesn't end here...
Stay tuned...
